Archives for May 2011

Breakfast Pizzazz

My seven-year-old surprised us all with breakfast yesterday.  My husband and I were still attempting sleep as she burst in and handed each of us a bowl of milk with some soggy Grape-Nut Flakes.

Minutes later, Evie giddily skipped in and showed us the breakfast Dani had made for her.  I snapped a quick photo.

“Maw-um, hand me my breakfast!”

Evie devoured, then licked, the entire plate and declared it… “Good.”

Grumpy Grateful Mom Goal of the Day:  Helping my sous chef serve fruit for breakfast today.

Revenge of the Net!

Our last trampoline net was abused, then destroyed, at the hands of my seven-year-old daughter.  Apparently, our newest net wasn’t going down without a fight.

My captured daughter was half crying and half giggling during the five minute extraction.  I know I am a mean mom, but I am grateful to have this picture, forever!  All parties are now in excellent condition.

Grateful Mom Goal of the Year: I’ve already broken the goal from my last post, so from now on, I’m just appreciating the free entertainment. 

Comment About Comments:  I’ve received two numerous emails from people telling me my comment system hasn’t been working this week.  Uhg.  Blogger says a fix should come shortly.  We will see. ūüôā
Have a great Memorial Day weekend!

SHOTS! And the Misbehaved Mom

 I don’t like shots.  I can’t even watch while I have blood taken.  My kids have taken after me.

When my 7-year-old Dani was a baby, she would get seriously upset.  I would help pin her to the table (with tears streaming down my eyes) while she looked at me with, not sad, but angry eyes! One nurse commented, “That is the maddest I have ever seen a baby get–ever!”

When that same daughter had to get a flu shot last winter, she still wasn’t having it, but was more mobile!  Dani took off down the hall.  I had to capture and drag her back to the office.  As she got the shot her cries morphed into giggles.  It wasn’t so bad.

Yesterday, it was Evie’s turn.  My future kindergartner has always been such a brave little girl.  I didn’t anticipate too much of a problem.  When the nurse came in with the shots, I could see the fear, but I was sure my little trooper was going to tough it out.

I was told I needed to lay her down and hold her legs.  But, as I attempted to lift her onto the table, she suddenly started full-out screaming and flailing and flopping like a caught fish.  She flopped right off the table, still screaming, and ran to the corner or the room.

Dani was with me and couldn’t handle it, she burst out laughing.  Then, I lost it–laughing hysterically.  I glanced at the nurse; she was not amused.  Dani finally left the room; she couldn’t contain herself.  I am generally not quite so cruel, but my normally socially-timid Evie really shocked me.

After turning my head from Evie and the nurse for one more body shaking chuckle, I finally calmed myself enough to get my screamer back on the table for her shots.   I held it in, mostly.  Evie continued screaming and glaring at me the entire time.  I couldn’t blame her.

When it was over, she didn’t burst into giggles like her sister had.  The torturous situation had been too much.  She was still shaken.  I had snapped out of crazy-mean-laughing-lady mode and gave her a big hug.  The lollipop and sticker finally cured her trauma.

As we got in the car she asked me, “Mom, do I have to get shots tomorrow?”

“No, not for a long, long time.”

She gave me the biggest, sweetest smile of relief.
Years from now, I hope she remembers the hug and lollipop and not her crazy laughing mom.  Wishful thinking, perhaps.

Grumpy Grateful Mom Goal of the Day:  I will, once again, try not to laugh at my children.

Marriage Unjustness

Sometimes in a marriage, things just aren’t fair.  My husband went to the U2 concert last night.

I went to Evie’s preschool graduation.

I definitely had the better end of the deal.  I’ll take Evie’s singing over Bono any day of the week.

Grateful Mom Goal of the Day: I’m planning some fun time for the entire family.

Toy Miscalculations

I’ve bought some successful toys through the years, toys that have been educational and made my life easier. Then, there are the toys I possibly could have done without.  Here are this week’s top three:

#1) The Pirate Sword

Last month, I had this marvelous idea for my now 3-year-old’s birthday–a pirate theme!  We had pirate balloons, a pirate table cloth, pirate cake, and I found him this cheap, but very cool, plastic pirate sword.

I didn’t quite think that through.  My little man immediately grabs the sword and says, “I’m going to kill you.”  What?!?  Did I hear that right?  Where did he learn that???  There was that pirate Backyardigans I let him watch.

Everyone in my family has now been injured by the seemingly harmless sword.  This sword needs to go missing soon or I will need to buy five plastic pirate shields.

#2) The H20 Blaster

My kids had so much merriment using our neighbor’s blasters one night, so I splurged a little.  I bought four blasters at Dollar Tree.  I gave them as a reward for temporary improved kid behavior.

The blasters are serious fun and can hold a ton of water.  But, they also have not been the the choicest combination with my little pirate.  He squirt our 1-year-old directly in the face last week and was blaster-banned for the day.

The next day Mase had a new plan.  Did you know blasters work well in the house too?  I got soaked.  Mase went to his room, again.  The jury’s still out on this one.

And finally, #3) Martian Matter Alien Maker

Martian Matter Alien Maker Playset - Spaceship

This toy was on clearance on Amazon and had great reviews.  I bought it for my kids, when Dax was born.  We haven’t used it too much, but it makes these cute little jello-like martians.  I kept it in the highest reaches of the closet, in my children’s bedroom. 
Unfortunately, when I sent Mase to his room last week, again, he got bored.  He started climbing.  Martian goo was everywhere!  Somehow it also landed on my 1-year-old’s noggin.  Luckily, the baby’s fuzzy head was martian matter resistant.  The carpet was not.
After looking over my list, I see a theme emerging.  Maybe it’s not the toys, it might be the kid.

Grumpy Grateful Mom Goal of the Week:  Extra loves and toy supervision for my 3-year-old.

The Cleaning Lady Heist

My wonderful husband did something so sweet.  He planned for me to have a cleaning and organizing helper for the day! 

Let me first say, I’ve never professed to be an exceptional maintainer of cleanliness–I blame my ADD.  And, since child number four came along, our house has taken a complete nosedive.

I’m not content with the condition of our residence, but I’ve accepted it.  I can close the door on the laundry room mountain.  I can throw any random thing into our overstuffed miscellaneous drawer.  I know things will get better.  Apparently, my husband was more anxious to have the “better” come sooner.

I should have been grateful!  I was not.  I could think of several alternative uses for that money.  Also, if I have someone to assist me with cleaning and the house is still not beauteous, then I am extra responsible…uhg.

So, the hour of the cleaning lady was nearing and I was stressed.  I can’t have a messy house when someone is coming to clean!!!  Yet, I just couldn’t get it lovely enough in time.  The lady arrived.  I had a sudden moment of panic when she inquired what she could do.  I didn’t want her to start with anything too disgusting.   I ended up having her help with some deeper cleaning, then mostly work on the kitchen.

 I also cleaned while she worked and got to know her a bit.  My helper turned out to be quite amiable.  She mentioned that several of her former employers had commented on what a slow worker she was.  “I’m just thorough.” she told me.  Now that she brought it up, I noticed, she was slow!

Luckily, my kids were there to help.  My 7-year-old started smearing window cleaner on the windows with her hands.  The baby made numerous attempts to dive into the woman’s cleaning bucket.  My 3-year-old sporadically sprayed the walls with water.  All the while, my stranger-wary 5-year-old daughter stared the cleaning lady down.  We needed to get out of the house!

With a couple hours of cleaning assistance to go, I told her I had a few errands to run and asked if she could help with the pantry while I was gone.  “No problem,” she cheerily replied.

I had a little trepidation about leaving her alone in my house, but we just don’t have any exciting stuff to steal.  I payed her in advance with a generous tip and left. 

Upon my return, the amiable woman and her check were gone, the pantry untouched.  When my expectant husband arrived home the house looked, remarkably, about the same as he had left it.  No miracles today.

Thankfully, I doubt we’ll be investing in more outside cleaning help anytime soon.   Though, I think I’ll start charging.

Grumpy Mom Goal of the Day: Continue teaching my children the joys of cleaning.

Potty Training Deception

I have successfully potty trained two children, both girls.  Then, there’s my now 3-year-old, Mase.  He’s not that interested.  He tried it.  He got a few treats for his efforts.  Then, back to the diapers.

Consequently, I was thrilled when Mase came to me and declared, “I need to go potty Mommy.  You open bathwoom?”  I was getting Dax dressed so I sent Dani to open the childproof bathroom door and told Mase I would help him in just a minute.

Dani came back only a few seconds later, “Mom, Mase didn’t need to go potty.  He just wanted to wash a strawberry he stole from the fridge.”  The report was confirmed as he immediately skipped into the room with a big smile and a half eaten strawberry in hand.  

I’m grateful my son is so dedicated in his fruit washing.  Now we just need to work on deception, stealing, and still…potty training.

Grumpy Mom Goal of the Day:  I’ll be searching for an indestructible fridge lock.

Hair-brained Endeavors

I’ve had a few hair mishaps in my life. 

First, there was the cream cheese brownie incident. 

As a young teenager I volunteered to make brownies for a church potluck.  I started whipping the cream cheese, egg, and sugar with a hand held mixer.  Suddenly, my long hair got tangled in the beaters!  The mixer came all the way to my scalp before I was able to turn it off!

 I didn’t have more cream cheese and I just couldn’t let those brownies go to waste.  After untangling myself, I picked out every last hair and cooked them up.  I recall getting several comments about my tasty brownies.  Looking back, my judgment may have been a bit lacking.

Then, there was that really windy day in the early 90s.  I hopped into the front seat of my parent’s Honda Accord.   As I shut the door, a nice tuft of my wind-blown hair got caught!  The automatic seat belt whipped around so quickly I didn’t have time to think.  My sorry uprooted hair was left dangling.  I haven’t seen many of those automatic seat belts lately. 

Yesterday marked yet another incident.  I had a ball to attend.  The prince would be choosing his princess and I wanted to look extra fancy.  My 5-year-old stylist went to work.  I knew of her talent so I wasn’t paying much attention. 

It was a beautiful creation…until I tried to get it out!  My daughter had put about 8 small hair elastics in my hair.  Five of them were irreversibly stuck!  I asked Evie to help save my head. 
She was successful and showed me her results with a giggle–one elastic, with a good sized tuft of hair!   The giggler was promptly fired.
After much of my own pulling and yanking I am now a little lighter, but thankfully, elastic free.
Grumpy Grateful Mom Goal of the Week: I will schedule some hair safety training for my giggler before the next princess ball. 

The Wasp Whisperer

I have a slightly over-active fear of stinging things.¬† I’ve tried not to pass this on to my children.¬† Maybe I’ve been too successful.

Last year my daughter befriended a bee.  I was shocked to see her loving expression as the bee crawled all over her hand!

Ironically, I was the only person in our family to get stung last year.  I was innocently trimming my rose bush, when a rabid sweat bee started harassing me.  I made a swatting flailing dash to the backyard and that nasty little bee buzzed around my head the entire way, finally landing his stinger just below my neck.

Yesterday, Dani was delighted to¬†show me her latest friend.¬† A wasp had fallen into the kid’s water table.¬† She¬†saved¬†him¬†from his impending death!¬† He didn’t seem to have a stinger, but still made me nervous.


When Dani said, “Look Mom, I can even pet him.”¬†the photo shoot was over.¬† I headed inside with a warning to, “LET THE HORNET GO.” ¬† She told me he quickly flew away and hopes he’ll visit again soon.

Grumpy Mom Goal of the Day:¬†I’m spraying our newest swing set hornet’s nest.

The Productivity of a 3-Year-Old

I’ve been keeping busy this week, attempting to make my home less cluttered and more lovely.  My progression has been so slow.  Maybe I should take notes from my 3-year-old.  While I’ve been cleaning, he’s been making loads of progress on his weekly goals.

First, he wanted to help take care of his 1-year-old brother.  He decided to give Dax an impromptu shower.  They were only out of sight for a minute, but my littlest dude was soaked from head to toe (in toilet water!) when I discovered their shenanigans.

Later in the week, Mase assisted Dax again, this time bathing him in flour.

When this same incident happened for the second time in the same day, I stared in disbelief, then–I just let them play.  I completely failed to consider the cup of water on the table that, when spilled on the flour explosion, would turn the floor into a gluey mess!  Still, I’ve never seen two more content flour-covered little guys.

Mase didn’t stop his progress there.  He also attempted a furniture remodel.  Armed with only a pair of scissors, his multi-holed work was quickly complete.  I was obliviously folding laundry on the couch as this task went down.

It wasn’t all business this week.  Mase took some time off  too.  I was a little concerned when he went missing!  Luckily, he showed up a few minute later,  just chillin’ in a corner.

Dax wasn’t left out.  He had a tasty snack too.  I saw him eat a large brown crumb from the table bench, then scrunch his face up in disgust.  Upon closer inspection, I discovered my 3-year-old’s bug cup was also on the bench.  Where there were five pill bugs earlier…now…there were three.    

Grumpy Grateful Mom Goal of the day:  Loving my mischievous little guys and trying to appreciate the new look of my couch.