Precarious Pious Predicaments

Our church starts at 11 a.m.  You’d assume that would give us plenty of time to get ready.  Wrong!  Yesterday, it was still a wacky race out the door! 

The minute we arrived at church, I left my family to drop off a bag in a closet, down the hall.   When I met up with my husband in the chapel, the meeting was starting and my two older girls were missing!  They had gone searching for me.  Then I went searching for them.  After we all got back, as usual, I was chasing and unsuccessfully attempting to entertain my one-year-old, Dax. 

About fifteen minutes into the meeting–that’s when I remembered!  I immediately felt the back of my dress.  Oh no!  I had forgotten to zip my dress.  A quick plea to my husband solved my problem, though he chuckled as he zipped and made a “witty” comment.

To my relief, I had randomly decided to put a shirt on under my dress.  Here’s my unzipped look.  It could have been MUCH worse.

My biggest grumble about this?  Couldn’t anyone have said something before I showed off my unzipped self to half of the congregation!?!

Still, this is minor compared to last year’s church predicament.  My then two-year-old, Mase, kept messing with my swishing skirt as I was talking to someone in the hall.  Afterward, I walked Mase to his nursery class and happily dropped him off.   I spoke to one of his male nursery teachers before I left, then passed a couple men in the hall and said, “Hi.”

 That’s when I felt something was off.  Whoa!  Mase had somehow hooked the front bottom edge of my skirt to the top elastic of my skirt.  I was wearing tights underneath, but my tights had a hole in a very precarious position!  No photo reenactment for this story.  I can feel myself cringing as I write.

On a positive church humiliation note: You may remember that large spoon my husband accidentally stole from a Christmas church potluck in 2009.  I am guilt free!  I returned it!  Yesterday, I boldly announced my husband’s spoon theft in a church women’s meeting.  Sadly, no one spoke up for that beauty of a spoon.

I ended up leaving it in the church kitchen among a hundred other serving spoons, where it will be so unappreciated.  I may steal in back if it’s still there in a few months.  

Grumpy Grateful Mom Goal of the Next Sunday: Attempting to be predicament-free.


  1. What a great post!! And, I'm afraid all to familar!!! The funny thing is, I bet nobody noticed because all the other moms were going as crazy as you were!!!! Lol!! I love your stories!!!

  2. I was just going to say the same thing as Kathy, I bet other moms were feeling frazzled as well and finding out their zippers were down too, LOL.

  3. Oh Janae! This post made me laugh so much……
    Sorry it was at your expense! Thanks for sharing and making all of us Moms feel better about all of our unfortunate experiences.

  4. oh no!
    if it makes you feel any better I have been walking around my office all morning iwth my fly unzipped!

  5. Hahhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! I am seriously rolling. I am sorry to find so much humor in this. But I totally have been there. Ha!! At least they keep us humble! Smiles.

  6. Oh, I am sighing such a huge sigh of relief! I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one who has wardrobe malfunctions at church! I had a zipper situation happen at the temple. Yeah … I still blush when I think about it. ๐Ÿ™‚
    Glad the spoon got returned! I'd totally take it back if it is still there in a few months! ๐Ÿ˜‰

  7. mrsmarkdave says:

    Oh my word! I forgot to zip my skirt one day. I walked around church for probably 10 minutes before someone said something. That was over 12 years ago and I will never see any of those people again (I don't go to the church nor do I live in the area anymore) but I'm still embarrassed when I think about it.

  8. Mommy Inconsistent says:

    Very much a Mom moment. I once was walking down the street, looked in a store window to find my vest inside out…super obvious, Helly Hansen big logo, tags…not one person told me…Luckily I thought it was hilarious myself…my scattered mommy moment of all time!

  9. Once I went to a halloween party that had dark lights or whatever they are called, and my dress looked as if it were see-through. After I walked around in what looked like just my bra and underwear for about 30 minutes a girl finally told me. None of my friends told me at the party.

    I'm glad you had a shirt on-makes it a lot less noticeable! ๐Ÿ™‚

  10. Sandy -- As Told By Mommy says:

    I HATE embarrassing moments…I have some bad ones…although, I haven't had really any since high school…that's good…uh-oh knock on wood.

    On a cuter note, my husband gave a talk yesterday…when Lincoln realized it was his daddy on the stand he jumped up on his uncles lap, stood as high as possible, pointed at his daddy and yelled, "Da-da!!!" He repeated this a couple tiems and spent the rest of the meeting trying to go up there lol

  11. I first thought your photo was showing off a sun burn. The colors look right.

    We have church at one and are often late along with half the ward. Sometimes our Bishopric even starts 10 minutes late waiting for people to arrive. We have a lot of young kids in our area.

    I either don't have an embarrassing clothing church story to comfort you with, or what is more likely, I do and no one told me and I never realized it.

  12. Lisa @ Two Bears Farm says:

    I've walked around with the back of a dress stuck in underwear before. So I hear where you're coming from. Over, I think pants are much safer ๐Ÿ˜‰

  13. I know I shouldn't laugh, but that is kind of funny. The only embarrassing thing from me is my "religion" showing. Or not counting my tithing and fast offering right and having the ward clerk coming up to me to ask me what was I thinking.
    I'm sorry for your predicaments. Hoping next Sunday is predicament free!

  14. We can't go to 11 mass anymore because it is such a debacle getting out the door. We either do 8:30am or 5pm. For some reason the 11 mass just doesn't fit for our family dynamic. Glad you had a shirt on underneath. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  15. Johanson Family says:

    these precarious moments are what keeps you going girl! Gotta love it! I would have been minorly upset that no one was kind enough to tell me about my embarrassing mishaps with my clothes though– why do people get so weird about that? I've sat and watched a person talk with the biggest chunk of crap in their teeth but was so grossed out and embarrassed for them, I couldn't say anything! What is that!?

  16. GrumpyJaxMomOf3 says:

    You are awesome!!! I always try to be so aware of my wardrobe especially when wearing a dress… did I mention that I hate wearing them?? Well about 2 years ago… at my grandpa's funeral, I returned from the restroom. I noticed that my bro in law and a few others were laughing. They were at a funeral… how rude. That's when I looked down and noticed that I was the one they were laughing at. My skirt was all the way tucked into the waistband. You could see everything…. luckily I wear underwear that keep me covered up ๐Ÿ™‚

  17. OMG! I can't believe no one told you! But it makes a good story. Thanks for the chuckle this morning.

  18. OH MY GOSH! This is hilarious! So are you now known at church as the lady with the wardrobe malfunctions? Haha. I would be pretty embarrassed too, except my teenage years have prepared me for such situations. After losing my top TWICE at disney land when I was 16-17, there are few things that still embarrass me.
    Watch, now that I said this, somethings horrid is going to happen this week. Like my scrubs will fall in front of my patients or some doctor.

  19. Wow… sounds like you have quite a hand full! ๐Ÿ™‚

  20. too funny! We are famous for our mad dashes to church to. It starts at 11 we're up by 6:30 (not by choice) we get there on average at 11:20 or so. Oh and we only have ONE child!

  21. Ha ha I can't believe no one said anything! Looks like you and church have some wardrobe malfunctions!

  22. Wow bless your heart someone should have said something to you.. maybe they thought they were being polite.. thats crazy how in order not to embarrass someone we dont say anything and let them carry on embarrassing themselves. Lol at least you got a laugh out of it ๐Ÿ˜€

  23. yummychunklet says:

    Yeah, I'd take back the spoon if it's still there in a month. Ha!

  24. Erin Tagle says:

    HAHAHAHA! ๐Ÿ™‚

  25. Mom of 12 says:

    I can't tell you the number of times I've had a baby pull open my blouse at church in the never-ending search for sustenance. I also had a dress that buttoned all the way up the front. NEVER AGAIN! That thing was a constant problem…and it always happens at church! Grats on the guilt-free thing. I can always find something to be guilty about.

  26. I was serving at wedding on Friday and thought of your 'spoon'! ;)…I just happened to need one right then!

    Here's one to beat ALL your predicaments: My little 4'10" Mother was 8 months pregnant with her 8th child (just thought that would give you a better visual) She gets up to say the closing prayer at Stake Conference. While doing so, her skirt falls off! As soon as the prayer is finished the Stake Pres and his Counselors quickly gather around her as she pulls it back up!

    What a boring life we would have without our church experiences! And just for the record, I'm the one who has no problem helping out a forgotten button or zipper…specially in the temple! I figure I'd want someone to help me! ๐Ÿ™‚

  27. Babblin' Brooke says:

    I have to laugh. Your Sundays are just as crazy as mine. Mine usually involve my spitting 3-year-old lately (which I blogged about yesterday… again).

    Someday we'll both have peaceful, non-spitty, completely dressed {and zipped} Sundays. I just know it!

    Right? Please tell me I'm right!!!

  28. just me... says:

    If it makes you feel any better…

    The chapel on the base we just moved to starts at 5pm. We're still late.

    And one time my husband discovered his fly down after speaking on stage.

  29. The Zany Housewife says:

    I've yet to have any serious wardrobe malfunctions…but I'm sure I'll get hit with one at any given time.

    I would have kept the spoon. >:)

  30. Oh my, those are some funny clothing predicaments! They do make for good blog fodder though ๐Ÿ˜‰

  31. He he he he he….laughing my head off.

    My 4 year old always tries to lift my skirts over my head. And I do not wear tights…ever. So embarrassing.

    I'm glad you survived it, though.

  32. Texas Type A Mom says:

    That is so funny! I don't think it's possible to get out the door in an organized manner when you have kids. Or a timely one for that matter.

  33. Kim @ Mamas Monologues says:

    I think we've all had similar situations happen! Like someone else said, they probably didn't notice because they were just as busy!

  34. I wonder how many people noticed and didn't say anything to you at all.

    Nice to hear you returned the spoon. That must make you feel so much better and help the clutter situation at your house.

  35. Crunchy Mommy (aka Cindy) says:

    I love public embarrassment stories, as I am one who regularly partakes in the public embarrassment (of myself). Add in church, and it's even more awesome, lol.

    Someone passed along a blogging 'award' to me, and I was tasked with passing it along to other bloggers, so you are one of the ones that I have recently found and I really enjoy reading your stuff. Plus, you're grumpy like me, lol. If you'd like to accept it, click on the link below and follow the directions.

    The Crunchy (Grouchy) Mommy –

  36. mom2kiddos says:

    Hahaha! Sorry for laughing but it was really embarrassingly funny! I wonder why too, didn't anyone tell you about your unzipped dress – maybe they thought it was in fashion or something and didn't want to offend you.

  37. Lexie Loo & Dylan Too says:

    Definitely not as bad as the skirt incident, but I can't believe that nobody spoke up about it!!!

  38. An Irish Italian Blessing says:

    I can't believe no one told you about the open dress! Thank goodness you had a shirt on underneath, when I first saw the picture I thought it was a sunburn, lol ๐Ÿ™‚ Even Church has to have some excitement (skirt incident)

  39. JDaniel4's Mom says:

    I am so glad you had a shirt on. I am surprised that no one said anything.

  40. Help! Mama Remote... says:

    Oh my! That's awful!

  41. At least you had a shirt on underneath!

    We are awful at getting out the door for church. We started going to Saturday night services a few months ago. I love being able to be lazy on Sunday mornings!

  42. LOL on this one. What a very fun post. I remember a time that when I got out of the car to go into church my skirt in the back was caught in the waist band. I had regular nylons on and when I looked behind me there was two missionaries. I was so embrassed.
    Blessings to you and keep on enjoying the moments.

  43. Lady Jennie says:

    Well years ago before I became a Christian and when I was still leading a wild life … you know what? I just decided against telling that story publicly, but let's just say that you are cleared – mine is much worse!

  44. MommaKiss says:

    first, yay for returning the spoon. god would be happy! second? What is with kids always messing with your outfit? Mine like to rip down the front if I'm holding them. Like yah, just show the world my cleave! I don't mind!

  45. Laura@livingabigstory says:

    See I kept thinking, "Oh Janae, I have a story to beat that story!"

    …. until I read your second one … oh sweets, you definitely got me beat ๐Ÿ™‚

    (Love ya, girl! Do you still love me?)

  46. you having a shirt underneath actually helps explain why you didn't notice. No way to feel the "breeze" on your back!

  47. So lucky you had that shirt underneath. It almost looks like the dress is made that way. People are funny. They don't want to say anything. WHy? Hello! I don't want to wander around with my clothes undone, or tucked up or lipstick on my teeth. Glad it was minor. Is there a name on the spoon? Haha.

  48. blueviolet says:

    Your honesty and modesty are clearly at odds with each other! LOL, totally kidding.

  49. We have had all those moments due to our children. I can't even begin to count how many I have had.

    All a part of motherhood ๐Ÿ™‚

  50. So, either your husband doesn't stare at your backside anymore, or he DOES, and liked the fact that you were unzipped? You know, like don't fix it until somebody else notices? ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Sunday morning is about the only time I wear a skirt, and my little girl is *always* lifting and pulling on this new "toy!"

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