It’s…interesting…taking my four young children to church. I always notice these families with perfectly behaved kids. They are mysterious to me. We are not one of those families.
And now, a glimpse at this past Sunday’s experience:
Part 1: The Escape Artists
We were running late and lost out on our cushy benches. Drat! My one-year-old (Dax) was elated–there was so much more aisle space between the folding chairs! He set his sights on an aisle breakout. I attempted to sidetrack him and broke out my suitcase-sized kid bag, but still, no toy, no snack,could deter him from his goal.
After ten tiring minutes of my seven-year-old daughter (Dani) and me fetching my wandering dude, I glanced over at my husband. He’s asleep! I have no words. I kicked him and took Dax in the hall. Mase followed, then decided he missed Daddy. He went back in. He came out. In. Out. I tried to hold him. He wriggled away and went back in. And out.
Part 2: Trickery
I had decided we all needed to go back in when Mase announced to me, and the other families in the hall, “I need to go potty.” Ha! I wasn’t falling for this old trick.
“You do not.”
“I need to go POO-POO!!!!” he growls.
After arriving in the restroom, Mase points to the toilet and proclaims, “Oh look Mom, I go poo-poo.”
“You didn’t even sit on the toilet Buddy.”
We attempted to go back in the chapel and it wasn’t pretty…let me jump ahead. We all ended up, in a room in the hall. The whole family!
Part 3: The Tearful Finale
My husband takes the two girls back in. Mase follows and decides to play with the door. Dani’s finger gets smashed in the door. Really bloody, painfully, smashed. She and the rest of our posse are back in our hallway room. Dani is crying and screaming loudly and can’t stop. “It hurts! Ow! It hur-ur-ur-urts!!!!”
I asked my husband to take me and the criers home! On our way out Mase gets angry because he didn’t get to open the door all by himself and…starts crying. I’m surprised Evie didn’t join in. I considered it.
Just another day at church.
|Only the middle finger got smashed. Her other finger got stuck in her bike kickstand the day before.|