Criminal Intentions

My three-year-old son is ahead of his time.  I mentioned in a recent post of my early thieving ways.  Both daughters have also had stealing incidents.  But Mase is starting so young!

My six-year-old, Evie, happily ratted out my newest little thief!

“Mo-om, you’ve got to come see this.”  There it was, under his pillow.

I have to say, of all my kids, these stolen goods were the most impressive.  Sadly for Mase, he didn’t get a chance to eat his stash.

We took the candies back.  Mase had no trouble apologizing as he handed the store greeter a ziplok bag filled with his treats.


Whoa!  I couldn’t believe my luck!  So much less drama than his sisters.

And here’s my three-year-old, a week later, at Target.  I asked him if he had any candy.  (Note my camera lens cover still doesn’t open so well after it was covered in sweet potatoes last month.)After this shot, I commenced a full-pocket search.  There was a definite lump in his fleece front pocket.

I attempted to confiscate the lump.  But Mase had learned his lesson–never give up your stash!  I literally had to wrestle him to the ground, in the middle of Target, to get those precious gummy bears.   He stayed face down on the hard Target floor for a a few minutes afterwards…defeated.

Last night, my husband and I were talking to our kids about the meaning of Christmas.  We asked each of them what gift they would be willing to give Jesus for Christmas.  I had an inspired idea.

“Mase, maybe you could give up stealing for Christmas.”


Perhaps he didn’t understand, “Mase for your gift, for Jesus, you could stop stealing candy.”

“No. I think I’ll give Jesus a cup instead.”

Grumpy Grateful Mom Goal of the Year:  Keeping a closer eye on my newest criminal.


  1. Oh! I know it is wrong, but I laughed! So funny

  2. I haven’t run in this so far, but I’m sure it’s only a matter of time…

  3. LOL…that is “sharing” giving Jesus a cup too . Great thinking!

  4. Those kids have some stealth!

  5. That one is going to be a handful! But so cute….

  6. Haha I know its not funny but his comment about the cup made me laugh out loud. I think thats a faze all the kids go through.. he will give it up sooner or later 🙂

  7. LOL! Oh, he’s a definite cutie!! You’ve got your hands full.

  8. I wonder if he’ll steal the cup he’s going to give to Jesus 😉
    This was not something I ever did but my sister was practically a clepto as a child. And her thievery wasn’t limited to just stores. She was known for stealing my things and then wrapping them up and giving them to her friends for birthdays/Christmas. As a teenager she once stole a pair of my shoes and then made me pay her $5 to get them back!

  9. Where do you think this stealing stemmed from? And where did the idea of giving Jesus a cup come from? You have some pretty cute kids. Even if they are pocketing some candy… 😉

  10. I don’t look forward to those stealing days!

  11. You crack me up every. single. time. Seriously. I can SO picture this happening in our house. Mine are into ripping things off the walls at the moment. Want to take a mini – vacay together? Spa? Did I ask you this before? It seems I think about it every day? Maybe Mase can go in first and distract them and we can get something for free? *wink* *wink*
    Kristen @

  12. Hopefully he won’t steal the cup!

  13. I’ve just got to say that I am totally impressed with his taste in candy! At three his tastebuds are quite developed!
    As for the cup…I’m sure Jesus could use a new one. I bet most people don’t think to give him one 😉

  14. Oh my I would love to see a video of you wrestling him to the ground in Target!

  15. He’s keeping you on your toes!

  16. So much better to learn these lessons now, rather than in adolescents when they could have to explain themselves to the judge!

  17. I meant “adolescence”

  18. I know this is wrong, but I loved his response!

  19. I’m sorry, but I’m laughing! lol. Love that picture of him at Target, too funny! lol.

  20. You are one of the best mothers I know. You handle this so well!!! I haven’t had this problem with Lex (unless she’s REALLY good, and I just haven’t noticed), but I was a little thief when I was younger. It started when my little sister was born. I’m not sure what that says, but I’m sure it somehow had something to do with it. :o)

  21. Um. At least he took really good candy? 😉

  22. AHAHAHAHA! You made me laugh out loud! Loudly. You kiddos are the cutest little candy stealers I’ve ever seen. Ya can’t really blame them, they have good taste in candy man! Urgggg… You are the best, so happy I found you blog! Xo

  23. Wow! What a handful! 😀 SO funny! I know it isn’t funny, but it is! 😉 Definitely one to keep your eye on.

    In Christ,

  24. oh my!!! at least he knows what’s good!! haha

    you’re a good Mama! you’re handling those situations a lot better than I think I would! 😉

  25. got to love his creative answer. never fun dealing with these issues

  26. Lol! Well maybe Jesus is thirsty and needs a cup. Oh I am so sorry.

    None of my kids have stolen anything but Alex works daily on her deceptions and lying.

  27. Oh goodness!

  28. We have things that disappear at home. Thankfully we haven’t had sticking fingers while out and about.

  29. you gotta admit the candy is so tempting and so in their line of vision at the stores.

    I think this is where the eyes in the back of the head come in handy 🙂

    Thanks for the chuckle it was a great post!!

  30. Ummm, I’m laughing out loud! I know, I shouldn’t. But you crack me up and always paint such a picture! I really believed him too until you wrote of the fleece 🙂
    And the cup to Jesus – awesome!
    I love that you took that photo in Target! Always gotta keep the camera handy, I say!
    Have a sweet day!
    (Ps-those Lindt chocos are the best!!) 😉

  31. Haha! Holy cow! Can’t believe they haven’t been busted by the real cops yet! 😉

    I’m laughing at you tackling him in Target…can’t get that image out of my head!!

  32. omg as a parent i know it is so wrong but i could not help but laugh..sotty

  33. At least he has the honesty thing going! He could have agreed and then lied about it. Maybe there is still some hope.

  34. Did you laugh at his responses to your questions? About giving up stealing. There is no way I would have been able to keep a straight face if it were me. Hilarious!

  35. A cup instead? That boy has some brains for sure. I hope he stops stealing soon.

  36. He may be a criminal, but I kinda respect that he tells it like it is!

  37. Oh dear, the last four lines made me cry. You are the best! When I saw your tweet about this, I was reeeeally hoping for a post too and you didn’t disappoint. I think we all need to chip in & get you a new camera that can do video. 🙂

    I went through a stealing phase when I was a kid too, but it was from neighborhood kids. My mom found out when they picketed in front of our house. With signs and everything…

  38. I know this is wrong but I am laughing hysterically!

  39. hahahaha! He’s not fallin’ for it, huh? I can’t wait to hear what you do next.

  40. bahahha I’m sorry but that is hysterical! what a hoot!

  41. That is just about the funniest thing I have heard since your condom story!

    Hope you have a fantastic Christmas!

  42. —Have you tried that Lindt White Chocolate?

    OMG. It is fab.
    At least your son has good taste. XX HAaaaaa

    Ooops, Sorry for snickering.

  43. This is cute! I am sure one day Mase will turn over a new leaf and give up his stealing. Good luck until then.

  44. funny story..esp the last line. Wonder has he been watching Robin Hood? haha..:)

  45. Oh NO! At first I thought he took them from you guys….NOT THE STORE. Ha ha ha….except not. Wow…

  46. He sure is smart! I’d love to have seen you wrestle him to the floor in Target though. 😉

  47. Oh man…the things our kids put us through! He looks pretty innocent to me, maybe he’s been framed? 🙂

  48. Oh my….. of course he’s completely adorable to us, your readers.

    maybe read him in the bible where it says, “Jesus passed the cup…” tell him, see he aleady has a cup. completely irreverrant, but it might just work! LOL

  49. Once again…Phew! My kid isn’t the only klepto. Big T’s been taking hot wheels from Kindergarten AND lying about it. He used to put things in his pocket from preschool but now he’s into bigger and better things. Should I be worried? So far nothing from a major department store (at least I don’t think so)

  50. Our boys would get along unbelievably well! I feel so normal when I read your stories.

  51. I think I’ll give him a cup. That is the most historically funny line I’ve ever heard. Sorry mom, but it is kind of funny. Good luck. 🙂

  52. That is just….too funny. Wrong but too funny

  53. LOL. I don’t mean to laugh but….hey, at least he got the good expensive candy right? Glad you made him take it back. I have heard stories about my cousin and I around 5 doing similar things. Haven’t experienced it with any of my children (yet). Good luck with breaking him of his habit.

  54. LMAO @ a cup instead!

  55. Hehehehe! He has some expensive taste! I love that candy!

  56. LOL! I really loved this one. Blessings to you for your very cute post. I loved the pictures.
    Blessings to you for a fun post today.

  57. I’m totally impressed with his gutsiness, though. Maybe you need a little security guard friend to spook him and set him straight.

  58. HILARIOUS! He is a SMART boy!! 🙂

  59. I would love to get my hands on the video from target watching you wrestle you lil’ gummy bear boy to the floor. I have this mental image and can’t stop crackin’ up! What a great idea to give up something for Jesus!! I’m gonna try that and see if Ryan will give up his clothes antics or his loud clomping shoes or something.. you know so it benefits me. hah.

  60. Ha, well at least he gives you something to blog about, right? 😉

  61. Oh my gosh. I’m dying laughing over here. I’m now fully convinced you need a camera crew following you guys at all times. You are the best kind of reality TV!!! I love that you had to wrestle him to ground!!! Absolutely hilarious… though I’m sure it wasn’t at the time. And he’s going to give Jesus a cup! LOL!!!!! Too funny!

  62. Ok wow, I laughed so hard, thanks! And umm…please add sticky fingers Mcgee aka..Kaylin to that list of thieves. I came home from the mall the other day with a blow pop lip gloss stuffed in the bottom of my stroller, she’s smart though, I’m the one pushing the stroller which actually made ME the thief!

  63. Oh Mase. Sweet little thieving Mase. Santa is watching you!

  64. Lol he learns fast…good luck !

  65. Your son apologizes the way my niece does!

  66. I can only imagine how you must have felt, and you must have died seeing the stash, but I have to agree his response is just priceless!! You have the funniest kids!! You are a super mom!! Your kids are so lucky to have you!! Much love my friend!

  67. A cup? Kids are too funny. I love that all the chocolate was under his pillow, it really is very sweet.

  68. Oh oh oh! My son did this when he was 3 too! I know how to solve it 🙂

    Know any cops? Our friend is a police officer, and we didn’t even mean to set up our son like this, but it was most definitely a good thing. The cop was over for supper with his wife. No uniform or anything. The week before Ty had swiped a chocolate bar from the store when he was with Poppy. Little stinker didn’t even get caught until later in the day when he asked if he could eat it now….LOL. Anyway, we were telling this story to our cop friend. And I could see the look on Ty’s face, the blood was draining and his eyes were wide. Joe (the cop) joked that people can go to jail for stealing and that was part of his job. Ty started bawling and crying and saying he was sorry and he would never ever do it again. We certainly didn’t mean to traumatize the poor little boy, but it worked, he has never tried to swipe anything since!

    Good luck with your little swiper 😉

  69. Mase is a funny little dude!!!

  70. Lol! He had good taste in loot 😉 so not looking forward to this experience with aiden…

  71. Ahahahaha! This made me laugh so hard!!! Merry Christmas to you and that lovely family of yours!

    (At least Mase has good tase in chocolate! Those Lindt balls are my absolute favorite. Um,yeah, my clothes are fitting tighter right now because I bought ALL the dark chocolate Lindt truffles off the Walmart shelf last week. For real.)

  72. Busy little rascal. 🙂

  73. Well. At least he’s stealing something yummy,right?

Speak Your Mind