Stop Making Me Mad!

I’m positive that I used to be easygoing.

I got offended this week.  I don’t take offense very often, but I let it happen.  At the time, I felt very frustrated and thought I was being unfairly treated.  But looking back now,  it seems ridiculous on my part…mostly.  Certainly getting mad didn’t make this particular situation better.

And while we’re enjoying the season, I’ve noticed little things bugging me more this month. Then I get irritated by my own irritability!

I can’t control what people say or do, but I can control my reaction.  So, here are:

Six Solutions to Stop the Madness!

I don’t write this to give advice, as I am in no position to do so.
Just brainstorming some ideas for myself.

Big Picture
When I get frustrated it’s usually because I’ve lost my perspective and get caught up in a not-so-great moment.  I want to always keep site of my goals.

So What!
I know that this sounds like I’m in junior high, but it hurts a little when someone doesn’t like me.  I need to get over it!

Priorities
Scripture reading, prayer, exercise, meditation, ice cream–I think everyone has a unique set of things that keep them grounded, and I know putting those things at the top of my daily list will be helpful.

Kindness
This has always been very important to me.  I want to be a nice person who ocassionally gets grumpy, not a generally grumpy person trying to be nice.

Appreciating
I want to cherish my family and friends more.  I know I am very fortunate and daily gratitude can make all the difference.

Imperfection
I’m allowing myself to not be perfect with any of these things.  Certainly, there will still be times when I don’t handle a situation with grace, but if I were too perfect, I’d have nothing fun to blog about.

Grumpy Grateful Mom Goal of the Day:  Easing into my refound easygoingness.

Do you let little things bother you?  Please share.  Or, I’d love to hear some ideas about how you keep your cool.

Comments

  1. That is a great list – and they are all good tips! Sometimes little things do bother me…but recently I have been letting them roll off since there is so much else going on in my life that I need to focus on!

  2. It comes in waves for me. I do okay for a while, but then I’ll have an irritable stretch. I like to blame hormones.

  3. I’m with Lisa on blaming the hormones. Motherhood has generally made me more easy going. I’ve been able to slow down and not worry about the little things so much. But every once in awhile, I have a bad day and everything irritates me.

  4. I try not to let little things bother me, but I’m human and sometimes they do =)

    I love your list. I also find that I let little things bother me more when I’m sick or overtired!

  5. Oh – you are talking to the queen-of-letting-little-things-bother-me.
    If it’s something that I need to deal with, I get stressed about it until it’s taken care of.
    Like – if I need to take something back to the store, that’s a little thing that bothers me.
    As far as letting other people bother me – I do this big time. However, I actually sit back and consciously make the decision to “let them be God’s problem”. And I make that my goal. It’s actually been working for the most part.

  6. I let little things get to me more than I should. My husband says I always focus on the right now and I never look at the big picture or the future. I try to stay cool but I lose it more often than not… I can blame it on the pregnancy for a few more months than I don’t know what I am going to do haha

  7. All great tips! There was a time I aimed for perfect but now I just try for my best. Makes for a far less grumpy version of me! 🙂

  8. I used to be a little spitfire growing up who always said what was on my mind and everyone knew pretty much what I was feeling. Then I learned to control myself little by little with everyone but my older sister. But being pregnant all bets are off! I swear there is nothing that DOESN’T irritate me when I am pregnant!!! I keep reminding myself that I will feel normal again after this baby is born and try to keep my cool by asking myself ‘how real of a problem is this?’ if I remember.

    Yesterday I blew up at a friend over a post on her Facebook about Michelle Duggar, I’ve never even watched the show, but apparantly I have very strong feelings about it. (Namely that people shouldn’t say the problems with her last child and her miscarriage is a sign from God that she’s had enough.) Maybe I’ve had too many people on my case about my own reproductive decisions. haha

    • For the most part, I was a people pleaser as a kid. I still have a hard time giving that up even now. But it’s so good I’m not currently pregnant–I may just irritate myself to death!

      With the Michelle Duggar Facebook post, I think you were right to say something. I don’t watch the show either, but I love that they are self-sufficient and I’m guessing they manage their kids better than I manage my four. 🙂

  9. I find that I use up all my “keeping cool” during day while I’m at work, which leaves VERY little patience for my family when I get home in the evening. I’m NOT good at “talking” about what bothers me, unless I’ve “HAD ENOUGH!” and then I normally wind up hurting people’s feelings.

    That being said, I love it when people are up front and let me know what’s on their mind. I hate being in the dark about how others are feeling.

    I pray daily (hourly on those bad days) and ask for help in keeping my perspective. Bible studies and church services also help to point out things I normally don’t see. I’ve also adopted this saying as my own: “It’ll be alright.” Whatever is upsetting me, whatever is out of place, whatever happens, it’ll be alright.

    It’s an every day effort. 🙂

    I love what you said: “I want to be a nice person who ocassionally gets grumpy, not a generally grumpy person trying to be nice.” That’s an awesome goal to have!

    • I appreciated your comment Jodi.

      It’s interesting you talked about work. You gave me a different view. I think I assumed that if I worked, then I would would have more patience with my family. But I can see how that might not be the case!

      And I love your saying, “It’ll be alright.”

  10. I rarely get offended. I have strong beliefs so I feel everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Also I put importance into what important people think of me so if someone I don’t really know hates my guts, I really don’t care.

  11. I find that most of it is hormones, especially if it comes in waves. I just have to tell myself “at the end of the day does it really matter?”
    When I am EXTRA irritable it’s because I haven’t given myself a break. This is when I decide I need to do an errand kid and husband free, even if it is dumb like driving to hallmark and wasting time looking at stuff, it totally takes my mind off of EVERYTHING!
    We forget that as mothers we need time outs too. 🙂

  12. I have a really hard time letting go of the little things. I tend to take things very personally and let others control my mood. You’ve got some great ideas here. I just wish I could put them into practice lol.

  13. I do the same thing. For me, I think it depends on how much sleep I get – or don’t get. When I find myself caring too much what other’s think/say/do then I try to focus my attention back to my little family – after all the people inside my home are who matter the most – not the people outside of my home.

  14. There was a time in my life when I let every little thing bug me. Often they would just unnerve me until I was able to take care of them. Over the years I have learned to not let little things annoy me so much and to take things more in stride.
    I do notice a definite correlation between my freakouts and PMS. It is great to have hormones to blame. 🙂 At those times when I feel the kids are really getting on my nerves and I need some time to myself, I will try to get them into bed a little earlier, then pull out some chocolate and a drink (vodka if I have it), and waste some time on line. It helps take my mind off of things and I can relax and get life into focus again.

    • Thanks for sharing this Mercy. I’ll use your getting kids to bed early plan this week. I think 6:30pm would be an excellent bedtime. I’ll have ice cream (OK, I have that every night) hot chocolate, and watch a cheesy hallmark Christmas movie. I feel a little more relaxed just thinking about it. 🙂

      • You can get them into bed by 6:30??? 🙂 Early to bed for mine is 8:30. Ha. We only have dinner at 7 and usually bedtime is 9 – 9:30. But mine also still nap.

        • My two little ones (3 & 6) go to bed at 6:30 every night! The 8 year old stays up till 7:45 but even two of them down makes a BIG difference. I have to warn you though, it means they get up early (which is why they go to bed early), so if you’re not a morning person, the trade off of putting them to bed early might not be worth it. 🙂

          • Mine have always been late risers and I prefer that, since I get time to myself before they get up, but my eldest had to learn to get up earlier when he started preschool so I have kept naps going for him.

          • My daughter is usually in bed by 6 6:30, we also have to get up early, but I LOVE it! I seem to need that extra time at night, for myself, where I wouldn’t get up earlier than her even if she did sleep in later.

  15. Girlfriend… I am right there with ya! Especially arounf the holidays with soooo much on our lists, it’s hard to never “loose it!” My answer to everything is ice cream. (lol… in moderation ofcourse)

    Ice cream solves everything, & Chocolate.

    Exept it doesnt help the skinny jeans goal. but what ev! Lol

    Wishing you the best (LAID BACK) holiday mama! Xo

  16. I sure to feel you on this one!!! I’ve always been a nice, patient person. Lately I find myself getting agrivated and annoyed so much easier that I used to. I also get my feelings hurt when people don’t like me….I’m trying to get over that one too…it’s so hard.

    I got really aggrivated over something stupid this morning and I had to ask myself….how important is this and is it worth starting my day off bad. Once I put a reality check on myself it seemed to help. I just have to keep remembering to do that with every situation.

    Good luck to you!! We’ll work it together. Till them…Keep Smiling, Keep Shining… 🙂

    • Thank you Renee! Yes, exactly how I feel! I think remembering to do a reality check in every situation would be helpful for me too, and a check at the end of the day. Hopefully, we’ll both be back to our nice selves soon, though mastering patience may take me years!

  17. I’m all for being nice. I don’t understand why people hurt people intentionally, but it sure seems to happen often! You seem like a really happy positive person.
    Sandy

  18. As someone in ministry, I could go pro in opportunities to be offended. Ha ha! But it feels like that sometimes. I am learning to get really good at taking the hurts to God and letting Him work them out of my heart. Prayer and Joy seem to go hand in hand. The more I pray, the less people affect me. And that seems like the only good option since I don’t have the ability to change people and make them less offensive. 😉

    • I sincerely appreciated your thoughts on this Jaime. I think my prayers have been a little rushed lately, which hasn’t been a good thing for me. Hoping to change my patterns since I sadly don’t have to ability to change people either. 🙂

  19. I like all of your guidelines for keeping it together. I’m pretty good at just letting things go and rarely get angry. I think I just don’t take many things that seriously.I think being in entertainment helps me to stay calm. When things are all crazy – my attitude is things will get done. They’ll work out as they should. It stresses everybody else out but I’m not raising my blood pressure over foolishness. This tactic works in everyday life!

    • I LOVE that your are that way Cam! When I worked in TV news I remember there were some people and situations that were very intense. It’s great you don’t let the seemingly stressful times affect you.

      I think remembering that things will work out is a perfect daily reminder for me.

  20. I think motherhood does this to us…I’m pretty easy going but I have found after my little one it’s not as strong as it used to be.

  21. Sometimes little things do bother me, but I try not to let it get the best of me. When that happens, I try asking myself “Is it really worth it to get worked up over it?”

  22. You are so right. See, today I’ve had a good attitude. Smiled at everyone and they smiled back.
    Sometimes I’m in a bad mood and even if they smile at me I get grumpy. It makes no sense but it all boils down to me.

  23. I must confess that I was hoping for a story full of drama. But maybe the person in question reads your blog. I offended my sister once so badly from a joke I wrote on my blog that she quit talking to me and called all of my other siblings and told them to quit talking to me too.

    I actually don’t take offense very easily, or I am so busy, I often don’t noticed when offense is meant. As a teenager, I was always worried about what other people were thinking about me. It took a while, but I finally got out of that habit by telling myself that I am not so important that people would be thinking about me. As a result, I am always surprised when I find out that some one has said something mean about me. But on the whole, I think that is correct, because the only people who really seem to care what I do, think, and say are members of my fam. If I hear from strangers it is the grumpy old lady in Wal-Mart who wants to tell me how I should take care of my kids and then I have to be careful and not be rude because it is oh so tempting.

    • Oh, I’m sure the person in question does not read my blog, but the details would have taken the whole post to explain and didn’t make me look so good! Though you have me curious about the offensive joke! Hopefully, she has recovered.

      I like how you got into the habit of just assuming people weren’t talking about you. I’ve done that in the past after some advice from my Dad, but I had forgotten! And thankfully I have been able to avoid grumpy old Wal-Mart ladies…so far.

  24. Oh the priorities one is huge! If I start my day off with a prayer and read my scripture at some point and consistently doing it things just seem so much easier to deal with.

    And yes, icecream is definitely a priority too 😉

  25. Oh I love what you wrote under kindness, that is just awesome!!
    I like you, that’s all that really matters 😉
    I don’t know about you, but the day I turned 30 I let so much stuff go, wow it felt good to not let myself be controlled anymore by what I thought others might think about me and I realised I’m fine just being me 🙂
    And so are you xo

  26. what a great list

  27. Oh, I so needed to read this right now! Thank you so much for sharing!
    Prayer, hope and ice cream are right up there on my list. No lie, just before reading this, I was daydreaming about the brane new half gallon of ice cream sitting in our freezer.
    Not giving a crap about what people think is so liberating. Just being able to say, this is me, take it or leave it…is refreshing!
    I’ve found myself reflecting so much today on memories – tough ones. And it’s so healthy to but I keep reminding myself of what’s ahead and all that’s in store.

    Have a happy, easygoing night!! 🙂
    Xoxoxo
    Maria

    • Thanks Maria! I love that about you–your confidence. And I love that you truly cherish your life and don’t care what people think about you. It’s a beautiful thing.

      I can tell there is so much in store for you!

  28. I used to let a lot of things bother me. Now…I just don’t care. Part of that is because I’m medicated 🙂 …….and part of it is because I finally realized that no one’s opinion of me, other than my Heavenly Father’s, mattered. Once I put that one little concept into practice…i’ve been able to let a lot of things go. I still have my moments…or days…or months, etc….but things are a lot better than they used to be.

    I’m sorry you were irked. Hopefully things are looking better now.

  29. When I’m grumpy, I remind myself to be grateful. 😛 (Sorry, couldn’t resist! Great blog you have here!)

  30. I appreciate your thoughts very much. We ALL go through this, don’t we? I know I do more than I would like… I wish I could just always let things go and never get mad or upset, but it happens. I think this time of year is especially hard because we are all so busy, stressed, and sleep deprived. It’s supposed to be the season of joy, but it really feels more like the season of stress… at least for me anyways. I’m fighting my own similar battle this very evening as I speak… so that’s why I appreciate your thoughts. I hope that whatever it is will pass quickly and you will be able to let it go. If it helps any, I think you’re wonderful! 🙂

  31. Totally do the same thing. If I am having a bad day, I will go off on a tangent. I try not to sweat the small things. but we all need to release steam everyone in awhile. We are human after all. I also hurt when people don’t like me!

  32. ice cream puts me in my happy place too 🙂 I try to not let the small things bother me but sometimes I just can’t. I cope with wine haha

  33. Priorities
    Scripture reading, prayer, exercise, meditation, ice cream–

    Ice Cream & Scripture.

    I love that! Xxx

  34. This has been one crazy week for people it seems. What is it about the holidays that brings out the craziness in all of us? I just want to relax, look at the pretty tree, read by the fire, play a nice game with the kids…no one is co-operating!!

    WHY can’t they just sit down and feel the Joy already!

    Whew. that’s better.
    grabbing my devotional, drawing a bath…..and grabbing the soup spoon along with Ben & Jerry 😉

  35. Thanks for this post especially the part “get caught up in a not-so-great moment.”. I do get caught in that most of the time. Your post is a great reminder. Yup…i should think positive. 🙂

  36. I’d just like to say that if you need some virtual butt-kickin’ backup, I got your (virtual) back. 🙂 Or we could cartoonize the hell outta whoever ticked you off.

    Yeah, we’re hardcore.

  37. I have to remember the “get over it” one myself. It’s always great to have everyone like you because then there are no problems. I always remind myself that if someone doesn’t like me, then I don’t have to be around them to know about it.

  38. I love this list!! Every single one speaks to me. Thanks for the reminders!

  39. I love the ice cream inclusion!

    I am good at being easy going, or appearing that way on the surface. It’s not that my blood doesn’t boil underneath at times, but I always say to myself, “don’t let them get to you, that’s what they want…stay calm”. So pretty much, talking to yourself like a crazy person works!

  40. What I love about you and your blog is that you add humor to the grumpy moments and I know that in the moment, it might not be as funny. Reminds me of when I get so MAD at my kids for something and then I tell my parents the story and they are practically on the floor rolling with tears of laughter. Its pretty funny looking back but I wish I had that kind of humor in the moment. I feel like my patience has gotten worse, so perhaps I should meditate or eat more icrecream.

  41. I absolutely love this, Thank you for reminding me to just sit back and not worry/stress over everything. 🙂

  42. What kind of looney birds would we be if we were never grumpy? It makes us appreciate all the smooth moments in life anyhow. Grump away, missy!

  43. I love that you put ice cream in your priorities! It calms me and makes me see the big picture a lot clearer after I have a bowl. This time of year can make all of us crazy. I am just doing my best to find my inner child through my girls and enjoy it the way that they do. It is making it a lot easier for me this year than any other year before.

  44. ice cream makes EVERYTHING better…or a brownie…or chocolate bar…or…anything chocolate really. 😉

    cheers.

  45. Yes Yes and Yes.

    Usually when I haven’t had enough sleep.

  46. I hate to say it because Christmastime is all about joy and cheer, but there’s something about this time of year that seems to make people really on edge. I used to be really quick to snap at people and say things I shouldn’t, but after making a big scene at the post office one year, I realized how ridiculous I must have looked. And now, whenever I’m tempted to get snide with people, I always remember that day I lost it at the post office and keep my mouth shut. 🙂

    …and I always get upset about people not liking me too. But you’re right. So what!

  47. It was so great to read your post and the comments from your readers too! I think this time of the year really does present some challenges. Usually I’m pretty easy going, but lately there has been so much on my plate that there have been some cracks. It would make sense that the same times I don’t get to the gym or eat the way I need to or get any sleep would be the same times I’m not my delightful self!!! I love your plans to re-group and I really love how you have given yourself the right to make mistakes and not do the list perfectly! I think the best gift I could give myself would be taking the time to take care of myself and then giving myself a break! I would like to treat myself the way I want to treat others!!!

    • You truly are going through so much, so you’re definitely allowed to have a few cracks! I think you and your family are amazing! You’re sincerely the type of person I aspire to be. I keep hoping Lizzy will start to do better. Your family stays in my prayers.

      And you should definitely treat yourself the way you treat others! Have a wonderful weekend my dear friend!

  48. I adore this post because its what I needed. I have to learn to relax and not be highstrung. Thank you for helping me out. I love returning to your blog, you bring sunshine

  49. I really like your post. It can be difficult in the moment to not let the little things frustrate us. I’m big on planning. If I know a difficult situation is coming up, I plan for it. When I do that, I find I’m much happier and much more able to not let those little things get to me.

  50. It’s so easy for me to get caught up in the little things. I need to remember these tips for myself.

  51. I sometimes let little things get to me and it’s not good. I try to not let them bother me but sometimes they slip through. I think you have your priorities right, especially with ice cream. For me though, ice cream is replaced by chocolate.

  52. It’s good advice. BUT, I’m also a fan of the “punch em and run!” method of dealing with anger.

  53. Oh, I get irritated at the littlest things! Most often, it’s stupid drivers who cut me off!

    Those 6 tips are excellent. Yes, it does help to look at the big picture. In the end, whatever it is that irritated us in the first place no longer matters. And yes, we are hardly perfect!

    Have a merry Christmas 🙂

  54. When I’m tempted to be offended by someone, I like to think ‘Is this person or what they say or think of any value in my life?’ If they are, then its worth working out or forgiving. If they’re not (which is true most of the time) then its not worth being upset over because why be upset about someone or something that has no value in your life. This perspective has helped me more than once. Also, purposing to smile and see the humor in things helps too, but you’ve already got that part covered…

  55. I love this! I also find it hard when people don’t like me. And also when things go crazy, and I let things bother me.

    I needed to read this (even though I am a few days behind) today.

  56. This is a great list. I think the tips are really helpful. Sometimes I find it hard to let things slip when someone offended me.

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