My husband has this new friend he adores. She is beautiful, dark, sleek, and not nearly as squishy as me. He met her through work. He tells me she makes his life easier. She is so smart and does everything. My kids even love her. She plays with all of them.
She and my husband have been spending more time together at night. Apparently, she knows how to make soothing sounds that help him relax. I don’t make soothing sounds.
At first, I wasn’t thinking rationally. I thought I might accidentally splash her with a little water, but I refrained.
I’ve since worked out a few easy measures to ensure our successful cohabitation:
-She is forbidden to show her face when my husband walks in the door from work.
-She is permanently banned from dinner.
-And, she is not allowed to interrupt conversations.
Things are a better now. The magic between my husband and his friend has dwindled, a bit. She and I even hang out from time to time.
I also have a friend. He is cute, but not so smart and sophisticated. He doesn’t make soothing sounds.
I miss our simple life before the technology took over. On the other hand, I think I’ll go get myself a new friend.