Birthday Sharing Strategies

Birthdays can be rough.   Especially when you’re not the kid getting all the presents.   Evie was ecstatic to receive tap dance shoes for an early birthday present.  As she started tapping away, you could see the look of pure joy on her face.

Not joyful?  My 7-year-old, Dani.

After Evie danced for approximately three minutes, Dani’s strategies began.

Time Management
Evie, you’ve been playing with those forever.  Give me a turn.

Backup Assistance
Mo-om, Evie isn’t sharing.  She needs to share.

Guilt Trap
If I got tap shoes, I would share with you.

Unthinkable Threats
Fine!  When it’s my birthday, I’m not sharing anything!

And, as a last resort:
The Kill
 Evie, let’s be friends.  You’re my best friend forever, right?

Evie handed over the shoes.

And guess who wanted the shoes the next day?

No one.

Grumpy Grateful Mom Goal of the Year:  Making sure those tap shoes don’t go to waste.


  1. 🙂 Kids are awesome!

    Good morning (or good night, if you’re only now going to bed!) and I hope you have a great, argument-free day!

  2. All I can say to this is: “Yeah…I know.”

  3. Ha ha ha! I love how you assign grown up skills to her reaction. And really, don’t we all do that sometimes?

  4. got to love the negotiation skills kids learn just by being siblings

  5. Oh, birthdays can be so tricky for little ones. But its true, Lori, kids have an amazing capacity for negotiation once they’ve hit a certain age.

  6. My daughter goes straight to the guilt trip.

  7. This made me smile… 🙂
    Your kids are too cute (and funny) and you tell the story so well!!

  8. Stephanie says:

    haha I’m not there yet as my little one is only 4 monthsbut with them being so close in age… I know it’s going to get crazy!

  9. LOL, future lawyer in the making…she’s got the negotiation skills down!

  10. Never a dull moment with kids in the house.

  11. haha! Love it! Reminds me of me and my brother… but we were normally fighting over HIS toys. His GI Joes were always way cooler than my Barbies! 😉

  12. I have two classic photos of Isabel’s birthday parties two years in a row where Natalie is standing right next to her scowling. She had no clue she was being photographed in either shot so it’s pretty hilarious to see the raw jealousy birthday presents can bring on. The negotiation levels you described sound JUST RIGHT. haha

  13. i am an only child and now with 3 kids of my own I am constantly confused by this behavior. My son always wants what my daughter has… even if its a girly toy- it always comes down to ‘not sharing’ and my son has gotten his tactic down: entice my sister with another toy or item so that she drops the one I WANT and voila! Then all he has to say is– but MOM!! SHE DROPPED IT or SHE WAS DONE or SHE GAVE IT TO ME.
    Silly kids…

  14. Isn’t that how it ALWAYS happens? Haha.

  15. Tap shoes? You are a brave woman!

    My boys tend to fight over things and then no one wants that item 5 minutes later.

  16. That picture is adorable!

  17. OK, this has been happening WAY too much, by my big kid when the little kid get s anything. He’s such a wuss.

  18. Of course no one wanted them the next day! I love her strategies! She really knows how to play it! LOL

  19. Oh my gosh! I wish I could write as funny as you! You make the cute and funny…somehow even more hilarious!! Love yoU!

  20. Kids are so smart. Especially when it comes to siblings 🙂

  21. Lol you have me in stitches because I think you got the names wrong! The receiver…Alia, the plotter…Alyssa! Haha we have heard those same tactics over and over!

  22. Haha!! Sounds exactly how it goes at my house!!

  23. I’m thinking her future career is as a hostage negotiator or lawyer!

  24. What, no dance classes? I picked up a set of white clearance tap shoes for my 15-year-old and she loves them…she doesn’t take tap either.

  25. These strategies sound sooo familiar to me. I love that she kept trying until she found the strategy that worked.

    And isn’t it just like kids to love something and fight over it one day, and then toss it to the side the next day?

  26. Those kids learn early don’t they? They know strategy before they can even spell it!

  27. Oh…Dani is sly. I must applaud her technique. 🙂

  28. Amazing the skills they so quickly learn. My older two always want what my toddler is playing with. Drives me crazy. After I remind them of the millions of toys they have compared to Ryder, I tell them to wait five minutes and he will he be doing something else anyway.

  29. Kids are amazing at manipulating any situation. It’s hilarious! And can I just say that you’re a brave soul for buying her tap shoes? Did she not like the much more quiet ballerina slippers?

  30. I’m still stunned you let them have tap shoes!

  31. Ya.. we know this well at our house.
    My favorite thing my 7 year old son does as of late.. is he threatens us with stuff like ” Fine! I am going to never play ever again! ” ~ And we are trying not to laugh… OOOH! That’s a big promise!

  32. Amazing the tactics kids will pick up on!

  33. I took tap for years at her age! : ) Such a sweet time in her life- she has great hair btw! Pretty color!

  34. Sounds about right. Why don’t they care about the toys more than one day?!? Hopefully, she’ll come back around to them soon (and if not, may I suggest tap classes? 🙂 )

    Happy birthday to your baby girl! She has beautiful hair! So jealous!

  35. Smiling again on this one. The post sounded so familiar; like it had happened in our home too.
    Thanks for the post and blessings to you all! I can hardly wait for the Halloween update.

  36. Hmm. Perhaps you should put the shoes up somewhere you know they can reach them but it looks like you don’t want them to reach them. Then they will become a desirable treasure once again! 🙂

  37. Oh yeah, we do this! Brothers are 5 and 3 and it happens every year! They become very sneaky when the time calls!

  38. Sandra Tyler says:

    Oh, such an appropriate read for me this very day — my son’s 8th birthday! And what did I break down and get him? Because he’s the last boy on earth to have one and it’s become something of sheer peer pressure? The dreaded DS.

    And how did I handle the gifting sibling jealousy? I’m weak. I bought his brother one as well. If only it could all be as simple as shoes….

  39. Time for dance class?!?

  40. How funny! Looks like you may have a professional negotiator on your hands!

  41. You are a brave woman to bring tap shoes into your home. Perhaps it’s a good thing that no one wants to use them? 😉

  42. Sharing is caring right?

  43. Hilarious! This sounds JUST like how Goldie acts with Eyes … just awesome!

  44. Haha! My son uses the exact same strategies! Could we be related? 😉

  45. Cute shoes and cute “tactics”!

  46. Very cute! Like the strategies,lol

  47. the best friend technique – that was one smooth move… LOL

  48. I think you have a lawyer on your hands.

  49. Tap shoes? Sound like a fabulous present. I’d totally guilt a friend to get to wear them.

  50. That Dani is a pretty good negotiator! I may need to take lessons!!

  51. things really are the same all over. today I baked Zoo Zoo’s cake. chocolate batter on 2 spoons — 3 kids. I am sure you know exactly how it went… LOL

  52. Man….kids can be so sneaky

  53. LOL The are so funny! Sounds just like my kids.

  54. Hahah, so true. She sure is adorable, though!

  55. They’re smart these little people! I love those tap shoes. How can I get my boys to want to learn to tap dance??

  56. Ha! That argument sounds so familiar! She looks cute in the tap shoes!

  57. This happens especially during birthdays and Christmas. Sometimes I pretend not to hear them and let my husband handles the situation. Do you have any tips for planning a birthday party? I’m in the middle of it and it’s stressing me out. Help….

  58. That last strategy worked really well. Haha. Nah, kids nature. They try to be excited about something new but tend to ignore stuffs later on. Dani’s cute for pursuing her sister though.

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