Five Things I’ll NEVER Do Again…Probably

Free Samples

We took the kids to Sam’s Club for a free sample extravaganza this month.  It was miserable. People were sample-hungry scavengers.  And, I am convinced they train the sample giver to move at an “I can’t even believe you’re moving that slow” pace.  I will no longer actively seek samples.

French Fries

When I was in high school my dad randomly declared that he would NEVER eat another french fry again.  I didn’t believe it, and told him I would NEVER eat another fry again.  He has, and I have not.  It’s been 20 years!  Though this summer I randomly popped a McDonald’s fry into my mouth without thinking, but I spit it out.


Sticking with my food theme, someone told me apples were good for your teeth, so I’ve been letting my kids chomp away, even after they’ve brushed their teeth at bedtime.  I just learned, they are NOT!  Drats!  I’m not sure why this didn’t occur to me before.  We’re stopping our bedtime trend.


In junior high I became obsessed with MTV and took up swearing around my friends.  (My parents had no idea.)  I think I had a gift for it.  But alas, I gave it up when I started high school, never to return.  Though I need to come up with some new words.  Sometimes “drats!” just doesn’t cut it.


I used to do this a lot before I had kids.  Now I don’t have a single soapbox to stand on. Though I do judge judgmental moms on their judging.  Hmm.  I guess that means I still judge.

Grumpy Grateful Mom Goal:  Attempting to stop judging the judgmentals.

free samples


  1. “BOOGER” is the expletive of choice at our house. We figured it’s “strong” enough for a young kid to find a thrill in it, but not offensive or (too) crude. My husband and I even say it when the kids aren’t around!

  2. Apples aren’t good for teeth? Oh no! I had always heard they’re the same as brushing your teeth too, so my little girl who has super soft teeth I make her eat an apple almost every day.

    My kids go crazy over samples at Costco too. For whatever reason, they will try food at Costco (like oysters!) but they won’t try a new kind of bread at home….sigh!

  3. Twenty years without a fry??? Seriously impressed.

    I know people who time their visit to Sam’s to coincide with the free samples, but that’s too much trouble for me. And I’m glad to know it’s not just our local sample-givers who move methodically slow. 😉

    Why is it so easy to judge the judging? I battle the same problem.

  4. we live on apples here, but not in leu of brushing just the fact that it is the favorite fruit of my oldest child. the issue is the apple pieces can stick between your teeth, and the natural sugar (as in any fruit) can also erode teeth. But it’s still a lot healthier than sweets

  5. Wait. No french fries? 🙁

  6. I say ‘shoot’ instead of ‘shit’.
    I don’t think I can ever NEVER eat french fries – I try to eat more of it for my kids sakes. It’s a sacrifice.

  7. Judging the judgmental is a problem of mine too! Nice to know we will be working on this together! I didn’t know apples weren’t good for you either! Maybe we will find out that french fries are good for us!! Thanks again for another fun post!!

  8. I can’t believe the French fry thing. And seriously… I could see spitting out a Wendy’s fry…. But McDonald’s? That is like the holy grail of fries. I’m a closet swearer. Literally. I can’t swear in front of my students or children – so sometImes I go into a closet and swear. For real. Love the non-judgemental thing. I try REALLY HARD not to be. I only judge people after I tell them like 5 or 6 times why they are wrong and they still don’t listen. 🙂 kidding! Happy Monday! Kristen @

    • I just cracked up about the Wendy’s fry comment from Kristen! That is hysterical!!
      As for you, way to show your Dad! That is some crazy commitment on your part. Never is a mighty long time! For the judging thing…kids really teach you that you don’t have two legs to stand on let alone a high horse! I’m right there with you on that one!

  9. I think the queue for free sample are the same everywhere in the world. And the giver also act in slow motion. It’s the same here.

  10. Ugh, the free samples are terrible at Costco as well.

  11. I just cannot believe you haven’t eaten french fries in 20 years!! I’ve never heard of such a thing! I LOVE McDonald’s french fries – others are so-so. I’m impressed. I could seriously cut out some calories without my french fry intake lol!

  12. I love the last one! I’m amazed you haven’t eaten fries in 20 years.

  13. Bwahahaha! We used to go to Damage every Sunday. There’s nothing like a substitute for curse words. LOL Hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving.

  14. I have Irish/Scottish heritage — we pride ourselves on stringing together coloourful phrases of choice words. Course, now with 3 little parrots flying round me all day — I can’t excercise this talent anymore. But some things ARE like riding a bike for sure: just hang with me for 5 minutes – I can have your cursin like a sailor on shore leave. I am not proud at all….but it is what it is.
    don’t judge, eh? LOL

  15. Personal favorite swear (and you can use it, free of charge) is “fudge MUFFINS!!” Also, a Tommy Boy classic – either Schnikes or Schnikey!! They are both awesome.

  16. I can’t believe you haven’t eaten a french fry in 20 years! That is so impressive!!

  17. There’s no way I could go 20yrs without eating a french fry!! They are just too good!

    I think apples are helpful at keeping tarter at bay b/c of the acid in them. But if you don’t brush your teeth, that acid stays on your teeth, which is not good. I could be wrong though!

    I’m also judgemental of parents who judge others. 😉

  18. If you haven’t had a french fry in that long you have a right to judge.
    You are my hero.

    I’m afraid that I’m a judger of judgemental parents too.
    Can’t help myself and I don’t even have little kids!

  19. Wow…Just…Wow. I “give things up” (like my cureent NO CHIPS & DIP self-imposed restriction) but I don’t think I could give ’em up for 20 years. Definitely couldn’t give up fries for that long!! Impressive for sure!
    My friend’s mom used to say “son of a slippery seal” instead of swearing, I use that one a lot…but I also swear a lot too, which I really shouldn’t do. 😉

  20. Wow that is a long time without French fries! More props to you. And yrs, being a mom has definitely made me realize you just never know what someone is going through.

  21. I gave up chewing gum for about 15 years because of something a dentist said. Now I don’t really even like it. But French fries? How do you survive?

  22. Okay now that is just craziness– no french frieds? Its a staple with nearly every dinner at my house… that or cheetos! i’ve heard friends say they wouldn’t eat another fry b/c of the Supersize me movie.. which is why I didn’t watch it…
    I caught my son saying “freaking” last night as we prepared for bathtime. It doesn’t sound so bad coming from my mouth but when I heard him say it– it was awful! I need to try your method.. DRATS!

  23. I just can’t accept that you don’t eat french fries. I could go a year or two, I’m sure, but twenty? I never swore when my kids lived at home. EVER. Once they went to college, I started for the heck of it, but I’m not good at it. I don’t think I use them right, so I should probably just stop. 😉

  24. I seriously can’t believe you haven’t eaten a french fry in 20 years! That is just crazy talk!

  25. There are always so many things we can grow in… 😉 Not judging is always difficult.
    You don’t eat FRENCH FRIES!??!?! I don’t like any fast food, but I cannot imaging not eating a french fry for 20 years. You are probably healthier for it, though. 😀 LOL

    In Christ,

  26. I am smiling at this one. I loved your thoughts on what yo probably won’t do again. You have great self-control if you haven’t eaten a french fry for 20 years. I gave up Dr. Pepper with Caffeine due to a comment my son said to me. I have even given up Dr. Pepper all together. However, I do draw the line at Chocolate. No self-control on this one at all.
    Thanks for the laugh and blessings to you!

  27. I do not like swearing at all. I was never able to get into that bad habit because my parents would have spanked my hide (no matter my age). I used to be so bad at judging too, but with age luckily comes wisdom thank goodness. Trials have a way of softening our hearts.

  28. Why do you not eat fries? I don’t like to judge either but that just seems…crazy! French Fries! FRENCH FRIES! OMG I don’t know what I would do without french fries!!!!

  29. Girl…french fries?? Oh my you are a hoot. I love your blog it always makes me smile. EVERYtime.

  30. My childhood BFF says: mother-puppy. LOL she has a million of them. I will have to email her and get the good ones. I say “crap” but I am not overly fond of it when my six year old says it. 🙁

    Judging judgy moms….yeah…I do that. hahaha. Try not to. But sometimes it’s hard.

  31. JDaniel loves to get samples. We have to time it just right to have samples out and not have to get in a line.

  32. Wow, I can’t believe you haven’t had a fry in 20 years! I do love me some fries on occasion.

  33. No fries? Not even big thick fries with melty cheese, dipped in ranch? Oh, girl.

  34. LOOOOL OMG, stop judging the judgmentals, I literally almost spit out my coffee 🙂 Which means yes, it’s 2pm and I’m drinking coffee 🙂

  35. hahaha, occasionally, I will take a couple of kids to Costco for a sample lunch on Saturday.
    We do apples before bed and it is a disaster but not because of the dentist, I brush their teeth after I tuck them in because, dang I don’t care if floride is poisonous, it is just easier.
    If I quit eating fries, I think I would be sad. I don’t eat peanut m&m’s because I only ever ate them until I was sick, and since I had no self control, denial seemed the best choice.
    Okay, so I have sworn on occassion, but I have 8 kids.
    Judging– I am very opinionated, but I like people a lot usually no matter what, so people probably think I judge when I really don’t care and just want to be friends. Does that make any sense?????? However, it infuriates me, when I tell my hub about something political that bugs me and he tells me not to judge.

  36. Another hilarious post! The JUDGING part is THE BEST. I can totally relate to that. I also judge rich people who judge poor people.

    I don’t know how anyone could go 20 years without a french fry!! I don’t think I could even go 20 DAYS! I do bake them when we make them at home, though, which drives my five-year-old CRAZY. He knows they somehow don’t taste right, but isn’t quite sure why. 😉

  37. I’m sorry…you lost me after “no french fries”. 🙂
    My son went to school today in dirty pants and without brushing his teeth. You can judge me if you want! (just kidding). I was just happy he went to school! Incidentally, wearing dirty clothes to school is something I said I would never allow my kids to do…sigh.

  38. You know, I love your blog. Your sense of humor always leaves me laughing and your posts are always things I can relate to!

    I haven’t really WANTED a fry since July. I’ve had a few but they hurt so much and they just don’t taste good to me anymore. That being said, last night I was craving french fries so hard. You’ll be proud–I didn’t cave. So of course it’s so funny to me to get over here today and find out you’ve been 20 years without a fry! You inspire me. 😀

    The judging thing… Yeah, still working on that one. I definitely look at it differently now that I’m the one people are staring at and whispering about. I’ve learned to consider (at least when it comes to people’s kids) the other factors that could be at work, like special/high needs kids or an especially long day. I’m still bad about jumping to conclusions, though.

  39. I can’t believe you don’t eat French fries…what!!? You crazy!

  40. Haha! Love this…especially the judging one. I wish I could go 20 years without fries…good for you!

  41. I get stuck in that judging the judgmentals cycle as well, lol

  42. French Fries and Swearing….both things I wish I could give up completely. UGH! Although I am committed to abstain from both, I occasionally (and sometimes more than occasionally) slip.

    Don’t judge me for it. I’m trying. Ha ha ha!

  43. My husband is addicted to french fries. Maybe I should see if I can get him to give them up for a week.

  44. I wish I had your will power when it comes to French fries! I can’t resist them. Judging made me life…I say I don’t judge but judge judgey people…what a vicious circle that is.

  45. 20 years without a French fry? I think the mere thought just made me die a little inside!

  46. I say crap… and now my 3 year old does too. 🙁 and I totally agree about the glacial pace sampler givers work at!!

  47. UGH! The free samples at club stores are awful. I think people just go to eat! They totally get in the way of my shopping!

  48. I need to work on the swearing thing. My daughter is 9 months and doesn’t know it now but in a few short months, she will be repeating mommy and daddy. SHIT! oh wait, I am suppose to stop that lol

  49. no french fries!! no swearing!!
    i’m going to judge for a second and say, wow!! you rock!!
    i gave up diet coke (for the time being) about two months ago. i had to laugh that you spit the fry out.
    i accidentally took a sip of my husband’s diet coke, ran to the sink and spit it out too!!
    nothing like temptation to throw you off.

    love your posts. your messages. your photos and lessons!
    maria <3

  50. Fries are my weakness… I know I need to walk away! They are just soo good!

  51. Free sample day at sams is crazy! lol. & I am seriously impressed that you haven’t had a fry in 20 years. I’m not big on McDonalds at all, but I do like their frys. Hope you’re having a good day. 🙂

  52. Not a single french fry in 20 years?!!?! I just fainted…

  53. Fries?! NOOOO! Not fries! Even oven fries? You are missing out!

    My favorite non-swears are “Mother of pearl!” and “Sierra madre!” I have a mouth like a trucker, and when I started supervising young impressionable high school students at a previous library job, I had to get creative. And then it caught on and all the kids were using them too. 🙂

  54. Apples are good for chewing because it gives them stronger teeth, vs eating just cereals and soft stuff. However I think the acid from Apples is bad for your enamels.

    No FRIES!!!!!!! are you human?

    I heard my sister in law uses the word “Cotton Picking Candy”

  55. Okay, what? I too thought apples were good for your teeth… oh well, another reason for me not to eat them!!! 😉

  56. Swearing is one of the things I always tell myself I won’t do…but I feel like it’s second nature to me or something. LOL! Oops! Oh, and french fries…I don’t think I could ever stop eating those! Mmm…I want some now! haha.

  57. You haven’t eaten a french fry in 20 years?? I’m impressed!

    I’ll never go to Sam’s Club when it’s sample day. It’s crazy there!

  58. Good for you on all of it. But especially on the swearing. My potty mouth has definitely gotten better, but sometimes those dirty words fly out before I can stop them. I guess I need some new words, too. This just might be my new goal.

  59. No fries for 20 years? I cannot believe it, I don’t think I would last a week…great job!

  60. I was quite the avid swearer in junior high as well. Must be a teenage attitude thing. 😉 Ah, judging. Yes, I am guilty of that one too. All the things I swore my children wouldn’t do …. yep they do it.

  61. So no french fries. That’s OK I guess. But NO COFFEE??? I will never forget that about you. It will always be niggling the back of my mind, “that woman is crazy…” =) Sorry. Not judging. For real. I only judge judgy people too. Every once in a while I find myself getting all judgy about something, and then I snap out of it and go back to just judging the *other* judgy people.

  62. No french fries? Wow. Not that I eat them very often, but I do like them.
    I remember mom used to let us try all the samples in the store so it could count as our snack. Ha. Then she didn’t have to buy us anything. The best sample was a new ice cream being given away in mini cones. Mom bought the ice cream afterwards and even bummed some of the mini cones off the person giving the samples away. Mom’s can be embarassing at times. 🙂

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