Toy Miscalculations

I’ve bought some successful toys through the years, toys that have been educational and made my life easier. Then, there are the toys I possibly could have done without.  Here are this week’s top three:

#1) The Pirate Sword

Last month, I had this marvelous idea for my now 3-year-old’s birthday–a pirate theme!  We had pirate balloons, a pirate table cloth, pirate cake, and I found him this cheap, but very cool, plastic pirate sword.

I didn’t quite think that through.  My little man immediately grabs the sword and says, “I’m going to kill you.”  What?!?  Did I hear that right?  Where did he learn that???  There was that pirate Backyardigans I let him watch.

Everyone in my family has now been injured by the seemingly harmless sword.  This sword needs to go missing soon or I will need to buy five plastic pirate shields.

#2) The H20 Blaster

My kids had so much merriment using our neighbor’s blasters one night, so I splurged a little.  I bought four blasters at Dollar Tree.  I gave them as a reward for temporary improved kid behavior.

The blasters are serious fun and can hold a ton of water.  But, they also have not been the the choicest combination with my little pirate.  He squirt our 1-year-old directly in the face last week and was blaster-banned for the day.

The next day Mase had a new plan.  Did you know blasters work well in the house too?  I got soaked.  Mase went to his room, again.  The jury’s still out on this one.

And finally, #3) Martian Matter Alien Maker

Martian Matter Alien Maker Playset - Spaceship

This toy was on clearance on Amazon and had great reviews.  I bought it for my kids, when Dax was born.  We haven’t used it too much, but it makes these cute little jello-like martians.  I kept it in the highest reaches of the closet, in my children’s bedroom. 
Unfortunately, when I sent Mase to his room last week, again, he got bored.  He started climbing.  Martian goo was everywhere!  Somehow it also landed on my 1-year-old’s noggin.  Luckily, the baby’s fuzzy head was martian matter resistant.  The carpet was not.
After looking over my list, I see a theme emerging.  Maybe it’s not the toys, it might be the kid.

Grumpy Grateful Mom Goal of the Week:  Extra loves and toy supervision for my 3-year-old.


  1. The Raconteur Daddy says:

    I'm on the same page with you on that Martian goo. That seems like the kind of toy I'd send to my nieces and nephews just to get at my siblings.

  2. Rochelle@AFamilyofLooneys says:

    With us it was a plastic snake. It not that it hurt anything it just scared the crap out of me if I was not paying attention and saw it on the floor. It is put up now. Sorry about the martin goo mess. Boys find anything and everything to get into.

  3. Ha! I feel your pain! But, it's usually our families that buy toys like this for our kids (something about payback for all of the science experiments, toy drums, and child injuring toys we bought for their kids before we had kids…)

  4. mrsmarkdave says:

    It might be the kid. HAHAHAHA! This was very entertaining.

  5. Funny!!! (Mostly.) 🙂

  6. Marji & Jim says:

    My 3 year old Matthew turns any toy into a weapon, usually a light saber. Jim often buys toys that I would never buy! I have many toys hidden from the kids and can't find them when they look for them 🙂

  7. I love your blog!!! Maritn goo on the carpet, oh I feel your pain! The carpet cleaners were here last week and the guy who is usually here was telling the new guy about the time my then 4 year old drew a race track all over my cream carpet (I did not put the carpet down, I just havent been able to pull it up yet!)with a red pen. Just a note, apparently the one stain that does not easily come out is red ink, although, I have to hand it to the carpet guys, you can't see it at all! It is amazing how all hell can break loose in the time you turn your head and answer the phone!! Thanks for another great post!!

  8. GrumpyJaxMomOf3 says:

    Well personally, I do not think it is the kids…. I had 2 of the H2O blasters also, and they are tortuous. My kids didn't even need water to make each other scream. The learned that if you just fill them with air and blow it out really fast within a few inches of their siblings faces, this would get a reaction. Normally the reaction would be….. one child taking the blaster from the other and chasing them down the hall while hitting them with it. These quickly found their way to the trash can after they found my hiding spot 1 too many times 🙂

    Mase is an Angel… It couldn't be the kids 😉

  9. Jennifer says:

    Oh your dear sweet boy! What a great adventurous spirit he has!! Someday all of these memories will make you smile…someday many years from now!

  10. Mom of 12 says:

    Happily, I've never seen the Martian goo, but we outlawed most swords in our house years ago. Then my dad gave my son a hand-tooled gun belt complete with a cap gun. How do you tell a cowboy he can't point a gun at the bad guys, the dog, his little sister…

  11. My problem is the children-every show, every toy, everything-they find the worst of. It only takes one time watching/playing it too! Out latest fiascos have come with hitting eachother with play frying pans and painting on the walls courtesy of Tangled and watercolors from a nieces birthday party. Oh how I feel your pain…

  12. Jessica says:

    That alien martian toy thing looks terrible.

  13. Saunders Crew says:

    thanks for the review! we've had swords here as well, the blaster gun, but no martian goo. live and learn right. i don't know about you but swords or no swords, if you have boys…just about ANYTHING becomes a weapon.
    makes me nuts!

  14. Ouch! Sorry about the carpet. I could see where the squirt gun would go right in the face!

  15. The Suburban Princess says:

    OMG! "I'm going to kill you!" Funny. A little scary, but mostly just funny.

    My son is always asking about dying right now because my grandmother passed a few months ago.
    I'll say, "Don't jump from there. You'll fall and get hurt."

    And the he'll say, "And then I'll die?"

    I'm pretty sure he's going to develop some sort of phobia if this keeps up. He's starting to think that everything will potentially take him out. Yikes.

  16. Oh – I love your posts – I can always count on them to make me chuckle and laugh! I can do that because my kids are grown 🙂 {Sort of – if you can ever really call them that}
    Love following you and your precious kids exploits!

  17. I have a little award for you over at my blog :).

  18. Annette says:

    After soaking the entire kitchen with their water soakers, my kids were perplexed as to why two were broken and the other two missing the next day. I never had an explanation and they never played with water toys in the house again…well, at least from what I can tell, lol1

    btw, when you have a moment, I have something for you on my blog. 🙂

  19. Charlotte says:

    Three weeks ago I cleaned silly putty out of my carpet. Last week it was toothpaste. This week it was gum. The first stain on my new carpet might leave me in tears (I hope it isn't in beautiful fluorescent colors like yours).

    I hate when I realize the foolishness of my toy buying idea too late. It happens WAY too often.

  20. I'm cracking up at these toys! My boys make everything into a sword/weapon. And the things they say??? I'm totally blaming the Backyardigans!

  21. We got a couple of those water blasters from a party last summer. They were fun to play with in the pool, but seemed to crack pretty easily.

  22. What cool toys! (says the woman that doesnt have kids) Did your carpet clean up after that? yikes

  23. My boys love their Nerf swords! If I didn't buy them these kinda soft, kinda safe ones, I KNOW they'd make sharp, dangerous stick ones. Wait. They make those anyway!!! Yeah, my boys love swords. BUT, I make them fight OUTSIDE!

  24. Christine Alemshah says:

    Oh my!!! I can relate to every single purchase. The last picture of martian goo in the rug was priceless. Working with kindergarteners I have had similar experiences with "moon sand."

  25. I really want that pirate sword. I need to defend myself against their lame foam ones. Lately the boys have been making swords out of duplo, legos, trio, you name it because it is so much "cooler" when your break your sword while smacking your brother. If they all survive to teenagers I may be surprised.


  26. Rachael says:

    Now that you mention it I see a similar trend in my house as well. Maybe I shouldn't be so quick to blame the toys either! Martian goo has now been added to the list of "no way ever in the universe" toys. Right along side Play Doh and colored bubbles!


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