Archives for April 2017

Bandits

I have created a small army of bandits.  Snack bandits that is.  You know you’ve done something wrong when a brand new box of about 70 fruit snacks is empty in 2 days!  We had to take drastic measures.  And now we have this:

It’s a fingerprint lock on our downstairs pantry–hurrah!  Best ebay investment ever!  Note the damage around the mechanism as my treat crazed minions have attempted to rip it off.

Still, it’s as if my kids are signaling the universe to send more junk food.

Just as our Easter candy craze was dying down my 13 year old daughter (Dani) got a phone call: “Out of 500 people you were the only one to guess the number of candies exactly right–419!”  She was giddy with excitement, “I can’t believe it!”  And here’s her prize.  That’s right–419 jellybeans and robin eggs.

 Now the goodies keep coming. Only yesterday my out of state parents came for visit and brought these.

My salivating cubs encircled their grandparents and demanded the cookies in exchange for hugs.

Then!  Same day.  We get a knock on the door.  The neighbor boys handed me a bag of this!

Don’t worry–I kindly picked out and devoured the lone reese’s cup so as not to tempt my children any further.

Despite continued lock destruction attempts, thankfully, most of our newest stash is safely stowed.

Now, if I could just find a way to lock myself out of the pantry.(sigh)

Grumpy Grateful Mom Goal of the Day: Cutting back on the Oreos.

Happy Hunting

After an awesome car sick incident (3 year old) Rose got cleaned up and scored 8 eggs in the big Easter hunt.   The event was a bit lacking; so many kids without any eggs!  I politely persuaded my girl to donate some of her stash.  She happily gave away one egg, then two and three.  I may have gotten a pinch carried away in my egg coercion.

When I boldly attempted a 5th egg giveaway, Rose was DONE. 

And the good times didn’t end there!  After the hunt, the aroma of our car sickened van really made this trip extra memorable:

Thankfully, our Easter egg hunt extravaganza at home had more impressive results.

Grumpy Grateful Mom Goal of the Day:  Appreciating my eggstraordinary eggsistence.

Crickets

I recently took my (then 6 year old) Dax to see a dentist.  He is my kid with few inhibitions; he’ll say anything to anyone.  I walked him over to get his x-rays.  There was a bald lady assisting with the x-rays.  My blunt little man was initially very quiet.  I was hopeful.  Then:

Bald Lady: Oh, you’re a pro.  You’ve done this before.

Dax: (very matter of factly) I have done this before, except it was at a different place and that place didn’t have any bald people, but this place does have bald people.

Me: (sheepishly)  Kids are great.

Bald Lady:  (Crickets)

Grumpy Grateful Mom Goal of the Day:  Bald lady sensitivity training.

I Had No Idea

Amazing happenings at our house this week.  Some days I just have no idea what lies in store for me.

First up, I had no idea my 15 month old (Hen) could stand on his bike handle bars and play the piano.  So talented.

Also, I have no idea why my 3 year old (Rose) decided to wad up paper, soak it in water, then gleefully give it to me as a gift.  Three so far this week!  Though, she was a bit selfish and kept this soggy paper pet for herself.

Next, and particularly mind boggling: my 13 year old accidentally cracked her bedroom window this week.  I had no idea she was so fond of the window:

Dani: (dramatically sobbing)  “I’m deh-eh-vastated!!!  I loooved that window!  If Yoda was heeeere, he’d say, there’s been a gre-eh-ate disturbance in the fo-o-orce!”  Truly, still no idea about that one.

And another atrocity from this week–I have no idea where this damage in my outside fence came from…bullet hole???

Lastly, Aprils’s Fools was…eventful.  I had no idea my 11 year old, Evie, could be so mischievous.  For one of her multiple deceptions, she decided to fill vanilla Oreo cookies with a mixture of toothpaste and flour.  Evie then (sweetly) offered a toothpaste Oreo to her 8 year old brother, Mase.  Sadly for her, the sinister cookie plot was foiled:

Mase: (sincerely)  “Mmm…minty…this is soooo good!”

Grumpy Grateful Mom Goal of the Day:  I have no idea.