Just Venting

My expectations for motherhood were…frankly…completely wrong!   I had no idea of the great love and joy I would experience.  I also had no clue exactly what I was getting myself into.  And now, an excerpt from this past year:

It’s quiet in my house–too quiet.

I glance into my 6-year-old son’s room and am momentarily stunned speechless.  (Please stop now if you are easily grossed out.)  Dax is, happily, peeing down the air vent!  Ya, the type of air vent that connects to ALL the air vents in our home.  I swiftly approach my amazing man:

Me: (as I’m gripping his shoulders, shaking him slightly in frustration)  What are you doing?!!  You can’t do things like this!!!  You can’t pee down the vent!

Dax is now waving his hands up and down as if to calm me down.

Dax: (sincerely)  It’s ok Mom.  Whenever I go to my room, I do this all the time.

Grumpy Grateful Mom Goal of the Day:  Scheduling another vent cleaning.  

At my husband’s request, I’m adding a related story that he just reminded me of:

Time:  Shortly after above incident.

 Dani: (age 12)  Something’s been dripping on my head at night?  What is that!?!

I should note that Dani has a ceiling air vent, just above her bed.  Her bedroom also happens to be located directly under Dax’s bedroom.  Good times.

Pickles and Ketchup

I recently took my kids for a drive thru feast–cheeseburgers at McDonald’s!

 Me: I’d like 6 cheeseburgers with just pickles and ketchup.
Mase (8 years old) (angry): Just pickles and ketchup!  Just pickles and ketchup!  Why did you get just pickles and ketchup?!!
Me:  Calm down buddy.  What did you want on your burger?
Mase:  I wanted MEAT!

And yes, I did let Mase whine for the next ten minutes as he assumed I had bought him a meatless cheeseburger.

Grumpy Grateful Mom Goal of the Day: Cutting back on my fast food feasts.

Not actual McDonald’s cheeseburger. This scrumptious square came from Wendy’s.

Developments

Well, hello!  It’s been a bit longer than I planned.  I’m assuming that I’m talking to empty internet space, but that’s ok.  At my house I’ve become very skilled at speaking and having no one listen.

So, it’s been 5 years and I have 5 new developments:

#1 In addition to our 4 minions, we now have a daughter, Rose–she’s 3!  We also lost an angel to miscarriage.  Then! We had one last little guy–Hen, who’s 1.  We feel so very blessed and are soooo so SO DONE having kids.

#2  I am also the proud new owner of a Fitbit Charge 2.  I just knew this was going to change my life.  And it has!   Now I’m capable of calculating my exact laziness from day to day–awesome.

#3  I have acquired about 1000 new Facebook likes from fake Facebook liking accounts.  Such love!

#4  I just noticed this–suddenly, there is a new Arby’s–BY MY HOUSE!  The fact that I could buy an Arby’s french dip sandwich any day of the week makes me giddy.

#5  Lastly, I recently got my laundry 100% caught up.  Amazing–I know!  I’ve been basking in the fabulousness of it all, then…our dryer broke.  My husband, who doesn’t fix things, is sure he can fix the dryer so…ya…no worries.  Looking good I think:

That’s probably more than anyone wanted to know!

Grumpy Grateful Mom Goal of the Day: Attempting to Accomplish my (never before accomplished) Fitbit goal--10,000 steps!

I wanted to let you know I’ll be keeping comments closed on most of my posts for a bit.   I know that’s annoying!  I love comments and commenting…I just need to keep my blogging/life very simplified for now.

Three Big Changes

A few needed changes this week.

Change #1
I think I win the award for blog wishy-washiness. I’m ALREADY ending my good news link up. I’ve sincerely enjoyed reading those posts and appreciated everyone who participated!

I plan to keep blogging this year, but I’m slowing down even more.  Thus, I’ll be taking another week and half off starting tomorrow!

Change #2
Google Friend Connect will be leaving me before I get back, so I’m wondering if things will be very silent when I return.  To keep in touch you can sign up for my feed or an email subscription.  I will eat a celebratory bowl of ice cream in your honor if you do!

And most importantly,
Change #3
I got a new hairstyle–bangs!Despite previous bang disasters, this time I loved how it turned out!  I was anxious to show my family.  As I walk inside, my six-year-old, Evie, just gapes at me speechless. Then, she yells to her sister, “Look at Mom!”

Seven-year-old Dani wasn’t speechless. “It’s weird. It’s soooo weird.”

My husband now walks into the room and pauses to stare at me, pensively.

“You like it?” I ask.

It looks much…straighter.  And something else is different too.  What is it?”

“I have bangs.”

“I’m not so sure about those.”

“I can’t change them back!”

“Oh, I mean it looks lovely.”

 Dani pipes up again, “It’s just really weird.”

“It’s not very nice to say someone looks weird.”

I thought this would put an end to it. But! She starts crying!

Through her tears, “I really miss your old hair! It was so beautiful.  Why did you have to change it?”

I pinned the offending bangs back with a barrette.

“Better?”
“Yes.” she whimpers.

Grumpy Grateful Mom Goal of the Year: Growing out my bangs, again.

Have a great week!  I’ll see you all soon!

Good News! Drinks on Me

My three-year-old, Mase, was so proud to show me.   He made a drink, all by himself.   His little brother, Dax,  was desperate to have some of the pretty liquid.  Note the hand.

Once I realized the only evident source, I snapped a quick photo and confiscated the alluring warm beverage.  My half-shirted toddler was furious.

Lucky for him, Mase seems to be making an endless supply.  Three cups just yesterday.

So, my good news:  Nobody drank the “kool-aid”…yet.

Grumpy Grateful Mom Goal of the Day: Appreciating the adventure of having boys. 

Add your good news below!

Motherly Mishaps

empty bottle of juiceI’m so grateful for the opportunity to be a mom.  Yet, some days are more successful than others.

Last week my six-year-old, Evie, got some juice out of the fridge without asking.    She insisted that she did ask, but I knew she couldn’t be trusted.  I sent her to her room for a couple of minutes.

This week Evie made sure to inquire before taking the juice.

Evie
Can I please have some juice?

Me
Yes, you can, but just a little.

(She heads to the kitchen, then comes back about ten seconds later without juice.)

Evie
Mom, did you mean it?  Were you really listening, or was this just one of those times when you said you were listening, but not really listening, and then going to get mad at me for getting juice?

And a late-night story, courtesy of my three-year-old.

Mase
Mommy, can I tell you something?

Me
What? That you’re being naughty and don’t want to go to bed?

Mase
No, just that I love you.

Grumpy Grateful Mom Goal of the Day: Lowering my motherly mishap rate.

I’ll be linking this to “Proud” Mommy Moments on Thursday.

Caught!

I hear it–a confident knock on the door.

My kids race to open it.

“Stop!”

It’s too late.

There they are.  Two well-dressed, 20-something boys ready to sell me something.

“Let me first say we’re not selling anything.”

My spidey senses are tingling.  “You promise?”

“Yes.  We just have a quick survey we’re doing for a college class, only five questions.”

“OK.”

They proceed to ask me five retirement financial questions.  I answered, but there’s more.

“Now which age range are you in?  25-35?”

“Yes, for a few more days?”

“Happy birthday!  You’re turning 26?”

That didn’t even make sense, as I would obviously be turning 36 if I were graduating out of the age group.  But he moved on fast.

“You just look so young!”

Apparently, he wasn’t standing close enough to see my gray roots.  Yet the flattery was appreciated!

We’re giving everyone a $15 gift certificate–you just need to have someone come give you some free financial information.  It’s not sales.  We have to sit in on the appointment to get credit for the college course.

“My husband isn’t home most nights.  Sorry guys.”

“Mornings will work.”

“Mornings don’t work either.”

“We have Saturdays available too.”

Doh!  And here’s where the ridiculousness comes in.  They’d already spent so much time talking to me that I felt guilty saying no!  But I wasn’t giving in.

“This Saturday’s busy.”

“Next Saturday will work.”

“I’ll probably cancel.”

“Oh, you can cancel when someone calls to confirm the appointment.  No problem.”

“OK.”

Caught!

Grumpy Grateful Mom Goal: Cancelling the appointment.  Must!  Stay!  Strong!

Have you been caught before?

Good News! Regression Repression

You know how some days you feel like you’re regressing.  You feel grumpier, the house gets messier, and the kids are fighting more and more!  Maybe that’s just me.  Yet!  There’s been a plethora of recent good news to break up my regression.

#1

My second grader, Dani, is anti-reading.  I’ve tried nearly every type of book imaginable to get her excited about it…nothing.  But finally, I found a winner!
FablehavenFablehaven book 1  A slightly too advanced and too scary winner for a seven-year-old, but I’m OK with that.
She LOVES it.

#2

My binky-obsessed toddler hasn’t slowed down with his ascensions.
Here’s a recent climbing conquest, my closet.His adventure last night wasn’t quite as successful.  After climbing into his highchair, Dax got stuck on the descent.   And amid his perilous dilemma, he uttered his first three word sentence,

“Mommy, help me!”

Finally #3

My husband bought some local recreation passes.  I was against the idea.  Though after seeing the online receipt, I admit, I may have underestimated my husband’s investment wisdom.   Now if I could just convince my dear spouse that some of our “saved” money should go toward a new camera for me.

Grumpy Grateful Mom Goal of the Day: Taking turns reading with my daughter. 

Grab a button from my sidebar and add it to your post, then link up your Good News below.   And if you can, take a minute to celebrate some good news with another blogger.

Family Politics

My husband and I watch and read an abundance of news, especially in big election years.  I’m always curious to see the different strategies the candidates employ.

My kids would fit right in.

My seven-year-old Dani is the sly politician.  Always coming up with some new scheme for the benefit of herself and her fellow little people.

Six-year-old Evie is the slightly unethical campaign financial donor.   She finds and steals all change laying around our house.

Last week the politician promised to get everyone gumballs from the candy machine at Walmart.  The financial donor agreed to fund the covert mission.

Unfortunately the campaign strategist (me) ended their sneaky fiasco.

Luckily, my three-year-old statistical analyst came to the rescue.  Mase discovered there is almost a 75% probability that there will be some type of fallen candy under EVERY Walmart isle.

I was worried about the sanitary nature of the candy.  Mase thought of that too.  He made sure to test the candy out on the one-year-old intern first.

Grumpy Grateful Mom Goal of the Day: Keeping a close eye out for any
new campaign promises.

It was so nice to take a break, but I’m anxious to catch up with everyone.

Don’t forget to add your good news this Friday!

Almost Back!

This blog will be back in working order by Wednesday.

And now, I leave you with a random candid photo I’ve entitled,

Attack of the Giant Climbing One-Year-Old

Hope everyone’s doing well!

Grumpy Grateful Mom Goal of the Week:  Writing some posts.

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