A Child’s Prayer

I love listening to my children’s prayers.  If only God would answer this one before my kiddos are all out of school for the summer.

Dax (age 7): Dear Heavenly Father, please help my brothers and sisters to be nice…because yesterday I also asked you to help them be nice…and…that didn’t work out so well.

Grumpy Grateful Mom Goal of the Day: Appreciating my minions.

Cheerio!

Feeling much too lazy to write an actual blog post this week, but…life is still rollin’ along.

Grumpy Grateful Mom Goal of the Day:  Buying more cheerios, seriously.

Motherhood Methods

Some days I feel a bit lacking in my motherly ways.  Thankfully, my 3 year old (Rose) steps in when needed.   For instance–this week:

My 16 month old (Hen) is obsessed with the mysteries of our bathroom.  A few days ago he unearthed his latest passion–the potty pile-up.

Me: (sternly while shaking my finger):  Hey, you can’t put stuff in the potty.  No.

Hen was mildly amused by my reprimand, though screams of agony followed as I dared to remove him from his favorite room.

Rose came along as the ugly scene was unfolding and took control.

Rose: (shaking her finger at me): Mommy!  Stop it!  You’re making Hen cry!  He’s just a baby!

Me: (adamantly)  Buuut, you don’t understand.  Hen was putting stuff in the potty and he needed to know…

Rose: (ignoring mom and tenderly hugging distressed brother):  I love you Hen.  It’s ok.  I’ll take care of you.

Grumpy Grateful Mom Goal of the Day:  Lessons in motherhood from Rose.  

My Permanent Gift

My (now 7 year old) Dax is a gift to our family.  He has high functioning autism and is a unique combination of loving angel/mischievous leprechaun.

Until Dax was about 4 1/2, he usually couldn’t sit still long enough for me to read him a book.  Gratefully, he now loves to read, sometimes.  Writing has been trickier.  Dax always refused to color in his younger years and still struggles with writing.  Though last year he gave me a memorable writing gift:

Daxton: Mom, you need to see this.  I have something I want to show you!

Mom: Ok???

My giddy leprechaun was jumping and beaming with pride as he presented my gift, written boldly on his bedroom wall.

Me:  Buddy!  You wrote that all by yourself!?!  I’m so proud of you!  But!  WHY the permanent marker?

Dax: (slyly sincere)  I just love you sooo much.  I wanted it to be there…forever!

Grumpy Grateful Mom Goal of the Day:  Just rollin with the luv that comes my way.

Family Essence

Soooo, on Sunday morning, when you have to yell, “We’re taking some family pictures no matter what!  Everyone!  Outside–NOW!” That may not be conducive to the ideal photo shoot.   Though, on the bright side, I think this photo really captures my family’s essence.

Grumpy Grateful Mom Goal of the Day: Taking some less realistic photos.

Bandits

I have created a small army of bandits.  Snack bandits that is.  You know you’ve done something wrong when a brand new box of about 70 fruit snacks is empty in 2 days!  We had to take drastic measures.  And now we have this:

It’s a fingerprint lock on our downstairs pantry–hurrah!  Best ebay investment ever!  Note the damage around the mechanism as my treat crazed minions have attempted to rip it off.

Still, it’s as if my kids are signaling the universe to send more junk food.

Just as our Easter candy craze was dying down my 13 year old daughter (Dani) got a phone call: “Out of 500 people you were the only one to guess the number of candies exactly right–419!”  She was giddy with excitement, “I can’t believe it!”  And here’s her prize.  That’s right–419 jellybeans and robin eggs.

 Now the goodies keep coming. Only yesterday my out of state parents came for visit and brought these.

My salivating cubs encircled their grandparents and demanded the cookies in exchange for hugs.

Then!  Same day.  We get a knock on the door.  The neighbor boys handed me a bag of this!

Don’t worry–I kindly picked out and devoured the lone reese’s cup so as not to tempt my children any further.

Despite continued lock destruction attempts, thankfully, most of our newest stash is safely stowed.

Now, if I could just find a way to lock myself out of the pantry.(sigh)

Grumpy Grateful Mom Goal of the Day: Cutting back on the Oreos.

Happy Hunting

After an awesome car sick incident (3 year old) Rose got cleaned up and scored 8 eggs in the big Easter hunt.   The event was a bit lacking; so many kids without any eggs!  I politely persuaded my girl to donate some of her stash.  She happily gave away one egg, then two and three.  I may have gotten a pinch carried away in my egg coercion.

When I boldly attempted a 5th egg giveaway, Rose was DONE. 

And the good times didn’t end there!  After the hunt, the aroma of our car sickened van really made this trip extra memorable:

Thankfully, our Easter egg hunt extravaganza at home had more impressive results.

Grumpy Grateful Mom Goal of the Day:  Appreciating my eggstraordinary eggsistence.

Crickets

I recently took my (then 6 year old) Dax to see a dentist.  He is my kid with few inhibitions; he’ll say anything to anyone.  I walked him over to get his x-rays.  There was a bald lady assisting with the x-rays.  My blunt little man was initially very quiet.  I was hopeful.  Then:

Bald Lady: Oh, you’re a pro.  You’ve done this before.

Dax: (very matter of factly) I have done this before, except it was at a different place and that place didn’t have any bald people, but this place does have bald people.

Me: (sheepishly)  Kids are great.

Bald Lady:  (Crickets)

Grumpy Grateful Mom Goal of the Day:  Bald lady sensitivity training.

I Had No Idea

Amazing happenings at our house this week.  Some days I just have no idea what lies in store for me.

First up, I had no idea my 15 month old (Hen) could stand on his bike handle bars and play the piano.  So talented.

Also, I have no idea why my 3 year old (Rose) decided to wad up paper, soak it in water, then gleefully give it to me as a gift.  Three so far this week!  Though, she was a bit selfish and kept this soggy paper pet for herself.

Next, and particularly mind boggling: my 13 year old accidentally cracked her bedroom window this week.  I had no idea she was so fond of the window:

Dani: (dramatically sobbing)  “I’m deh-eh-vastated!!!  I loooved that window!  If Yoda was heeeere, he’d say, there’s been a gre-eh-ate disturbance in the fo-o-orce!”  Truly, still no idea about that one.

And another atrocity from this week–I have no idea where this damage in my outside fence came from…bullet hole???

Lastly, Aprils’s Fools was…eventful.  I had no idea my 11 year old, Evie, could be so mischievous.  For one of her multiple deceptions, she decided to fill vanilla Oreo cookies with a mixture of toothpaste and flour.  Evie then (sweetly) offered a toothpaste Oreo to her 8 year old brother, Mase.  Sadly for her, the sinister cookie plot was foiled:

Mase: (sincerely)  “Mmm…minty…this is soooo good!”

Grumpy Grateful Mom Goal of the Day:  I have no idea. 

None of Your Business

Last year Evie (10 years old) mentioned to me that her (12 year old) sister Dani told someone at school, “it’s none of your business.”

The conversation:

Me: Dani, why would you tell your friend, “it’s none of her business?”

Dani: (after lengthy explanation) So you see it really was none of her business.

Me: Maybe, but you can’t say that to people.  I raised you to be kind and sweet.  And that phrase just isn’t nice.

Dani: Well, I’ve heard you say, “it’s none of your business.”

Me: I did not.

Dani: You remember the other night when you and Dad were talking and I wouldn’t go to sleep.

Me: Ya…well…that’s different.  You wouldn’t go to bed and what we were talking about really was none of your business.   I would never say that to like…a friend.

Dani:  Aren’t I your friend?

Grumpy Grateful Mom Goal of the Day:  None of your business.